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Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

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Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Bhaimiya » Mon Jun 03, 2002 12:30 am

Bhai Kulcha: Aapney bhabi ki shopping key barey mein kuch nahi likha.
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Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Kulcha Hyderabadi » Mon Jun 03, 2002 12:30 am

Miyan, bhabi ki shopping? bawa ya khaney ku nahi hai shopping wopping ka se karinge bawa? saal mein ek baar, munaish (numaish) khatam honey ke doosrey din, discount sale mein kuch khareed lete bawa hamlongan.
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Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Radha » Mon Jun 03, 2002 12:30 am

bhaimiya, adaab arz hai, Lateyfey hi sahi, miya biwi baher sair ko jarahe teh, showhar ne kaha dekho woh darakht(tree) par totha tothee kitne pyar se baith kar baat kar rahe hai, aur tum ho ki har waqt ladti rahti ho. Do char ghante ke baad jab yeh donu wapas ho rahe teh to showhar ne kaha dekho begum yeh tota tothee abhi tak bathe hain kitna pyar hai in donu mein, aur tum mere saath lad rahi ho isi waqt mein. Toh biwi ne kaha, zara ghor se dekho tota badla hua hai. I hope you like it!
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Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Bhaimiya » Tue Jun 04, 2002 12:30 am

Yes Radha: Mein bahut enjoy kiya padkar.
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Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby khajabi » Thu Jun 13, 2002 12:30 am

bhaimiyan, kulcha bhai, aap ki nazar char sardar padai khatam karne ke baad kuch karna shonch te, phir sub taiyar hote ke ek garage dalne par aur opening ho jati, ek hafta ho jata kai giraak nai a\'ta, kiyou? kiyou ki wo garage 1st floor par dalte.
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Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby khajabi » Thu Jun 13, 2002 12:30 am

garage nai chalra bolke, woh charoo garage baech ke taxi khareed te, ek hafta chalate taxi, koi passenger nai bait ta, kiyou? kiyou ki woh charoo taxi main baithe hote hain
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Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby khajabi » Thu Jun 13, 2002 12:30 am

ek hafta tekci chala ne ke baad, jeab main ke sare paise khatam ho jate, tekci main pitrol khatam ho jata aur tekci road ke beech main ruk jati, charoo bolte ke chalo tekci ko road ke bazoo kar denge, charoo dhakal te tekci magar woh zara bhi nai hilti, kiyou? paichano
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Hyder » Mon Sep 13, 2010 12:04 pm

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Chotu. His father is
ambitious to educate Chotu. Chotu goes to school located in Tappachaputra.
Its principal is educated in Urdu high school and claims that he passed
tenth class!

There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as
follows:

Teacher : Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa (questions)poochinga. Sab
achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan
thodtoom.

Chotu : Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya kochchanaa
puchta kathey?

Teacher : Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan ati. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum. Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.

So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not going to school the next day.

Father : Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan dabba hai? Gaand maartoom saale tu ischool nai gaya to.

Chotu : Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.

Father : Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Chotu, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa,tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.

So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school. Next day at inschool, Teacher is very upset to see Chotu back:

Teacher : Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun aaya re?
Chotu : Mera bava gaand phod tum bola ischool nai gaya to.
Teacher : offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa meri noukri gaand lag jayingi.

So Chotu goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy.
Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector: Adaab.
Teacher : Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.

Inspector : Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa,ek bahuth easy sawaal - Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?

Teacher : Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!
Imtiyaz : Saab, Khaleja saab.
Inspector : Aisa! ..... woh kyun?
Imtiyaz : Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa,kuch bhi nahin hota saab.

Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?
Teacher : Arey Akram, tu bata re.
Akram : Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey,iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab.
Inspector : Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!

In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding because he does not know the answer.

Inspector : Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya hai?

Teacher : kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku,kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab.

Inspector : Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?

Chotu : Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.
Inspector : Tereku yaa mereku??
Teacher : Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku.Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.

Chotu : Saab answer Gaand hai saab.
Teacher : Allah!! Ino moo khola meri gaand lag gayi re!!!
Inspector : Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaa answer hai re?

Chotu : Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai. Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata....Yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phatthi.. Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey....wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phatthi gadbadaan wahaan phailtey kyaaki bolkey. Uttaa kyoon saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand phatrai dekho! 
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Hyder » Mon Sep 13, 2010 12:17 pm

Hatha me hath milake,
Hatha me hath milake,
anguthi churake chali gayi,
abhi gale milne ko aari,
kya karthi ki kya ki……

chay piiney ko aake,
chay piiney ko aake,
saucer churake chali gayi,
abhi full meals ko aari,
kya karthi ki kya ki……..

pahaley iich mulakat me ,
pahaley iich mulakat me ,
five star me chuna lagai,
abhi date pe leke jao bolri,
kya karthi ki kya ki……….

sagai sagai bolkey,
sagai sagai bolkey,
puri shopping karali,
abhi shadi shadi bolri
kya karthi ki kya ki…….

Author- Hyder
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby HH » Mon Sep 13, 2010 7:32 pm

Abhi safar shuruch nai;
"Sufferng" chaluhogaich ...
kya, Hyder Miyaan :wink:
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby yakutbhai » Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:17 am

Ek nawab saab rahte, unko gosh kay itema khane say parayz rahta aur unkay ghar walay full parayz karate unko, ek din dawat rahti kahin toh puray ghar wale chalay jate aur nawab saab nai jatay.

Ab nawab saab sochte yeh acha moukha hai ek aat murgi khalingay aaj, uno unkay naukar ko bulate aur bolte miya achi ek murghi lekay aao aur paka kay diyo merku. Naukar jata bahar aur deka toh kachra kundi kay paas full murghiya rahte lekin puray ungtay rahte (murgiya ek payr uper karke ungtay), toh naukar kay dimagh mein ata acha hai yeich murghi lejake banatoun aur ek payr mein khaletoun aur nawab saab ko boltoun ek payr ki murghi thi.

Naukar murghi lata, pakata aur ek payr kha leta, aur nawab saab ko puri murghi deta, nawab saab murghi ko dek ke bolte arey miya ek payr kahan hai iska, toh jhat say bolta, nai nawab saab ek payr kich thi yeh murghi, nawab saab bolte aaiiin aisa kaisa miya sahi bol, toh naukar bolta chalo nawab saab mein batatoun aapko bolke lekay jata nawab saab ku jahan pay puray aur murghiya rahte, murghiya abhi bhi ungte rahta ek payr par, toh naukar bolta dekho nawab saab yahan murghiya ek par parich hai, toh nawab saab samaj jate kay yeh murghiyan ungrai, aur murghiyoun kay khareeb jakay ush .. ush .. bolteich puray murghiya dono payroun pay bagna shuru karte. Phir nawab saab naukar ko bolte, deka miya kaisa do payroun pay bhagrai murghiya, toh naukar bolta, "hau nawab saab yeh joh karay aaap abhi, dastar khan pay bhi karna tha" ..
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby satish » Fri Feb 18, 2011 11:22 am

Namasthey Bhai logaan,

Kya huva yaroan.. kuch bi jokes naya jokes likoan na...

ek hafta sey dekroon kali 2 page main bardetha kya ..likna shuroo kardo na..

Shukriya.. kuda hafis...
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Hyderabadi.anna » Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:37 pm

jahangir khan ku ek pahaad pe ek jinn ka bauthal mila..
Uno bauthal ku ghase tho, ek jinn baahir nikla aur bola : " Mere aKha Khan saab !.. Huqum karo aap ko jo hona..."

Khan saab bole: "Merku Ambani ke jitta daulath, salmaan ke utthi body, Hrithhik ke adhaeiye, shah rukh khan ke utthi shoharath, Tendulkar ke utthi papularity hona"

Jinn bola: "khan saab, baigan ke baatha nakko karo.
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby HH » Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:20 pm

baigan

"bhurta baigan" yaa "gutti vankaya", miyan !?!
:lol:
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Kiraak Pasha » Sat Sep 03, 2011 2:16 pm

Mereku ye group bhoth accha dikhra jee... main khaskar ye group ke liye register kara.
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Kiraak Pasha » Sat Sep 03, 2011 2:39 pm

Ek company mein interviewan chalte rehte. Job ke vaste select honay ki ye sharat rehti- Kamaskam lafzon mein interview dena.

Pehla candate darwaze pe khatkhat maarkay poochta- "Please may I come in Sir?"
Interview laynay wala sonchta- "Ari iski... inay andar aanay ke vastayich chhay lafzan boldiya"- Reject.

Doosra candate darwaza kholkay poochta- "May I come in?"
Interview laynay wala phir sonchta- "Ye kya hogaya dalindaroun ku? Inay bi moo kholtay kich char lafz boldiya.."- Reject.

Apnay teesre candate jo hai so maa Chunnu Miyan urf Ghacchup ki Mithaee rehte... ab dhan-te-daan bolkay kiraaaak panay se darwaza kholkay poochtay- "Ghusoon?"
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Kiraak Pasha » Sat Sep 03, 2011 3:22 pm

June ke baad se koi aayeich nai yaan pe... aatain ki nai ki? Kaan gaye ki sob logaan... Bhaimiya, Kulcha Hyderabadi... Sania?
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Bade Bhai » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:02 am

main Appolo Diagnostic ko jaa ra tha, whan sidiyon (Steps at the entrance of Appolo diagnostic) pe baith ke ek sardaar cheekh cheekh ke ro ra tha, main samaj roon kon margayaa ki kyaa hai ki bechaara kitne takleef mei hai dekho. Utne mein aur ek sardaar aaya aur pehle waale se poocha kaiko rora bolke.
pahle wala sardaar bolaa ki une blood test ko aaya, aaya to uski ungli kaat ke khoon nikale dard bahut hora isliye roraun bola.

yeh sunke maaka l***a dusraa sardaar ronaa shuroo kar diyaa na. pahlaa wala gaand phatke poocha usko too kai ro ra, bole to dusara sardaar bola ki usko Urine test karaana hai. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Bade Bhai » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:24 am

Aur ek suno

malleka sheraawat train chadne nampally jaarithi
ek bhikaari aake usko bola "aapa ek rupiya deko jao safar tumhaara accha kata".
Ine jhat se usko 1000 ki note de daali.
uskaa secretary usko bolaa " Raand to jindagi mein itne paise tip mein mere ko nai di woh bhikaari ko kaiko dee".
to malleka boli " jindagi mein pahli baar usko koi Aapa bol ke bulaya" :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Bade bhai » Wed Sep 21, 2011 3:52 am

Ab Bade Bhai ki Ek Naseehat.
Is Naseehath pe jaroor amal karna.

sab logaan sunaich hoonge " badon ki gaand mei ghusna nai, choton ko gaand mein ghusaalena nai". bolne waale ye baat chupke nai bole. kaiku bole, bole to, neeche padho: :roll: :roll: :roll:


"" Jungle mein ek chuwwa tha, uski uske biraadari mein kisee se bhi dosti nai thi. Karoonga to sirf badon se dosti karoonga bolta tha. jaa jaa ke ek hathi ( elephant ) se dosti kiyaa dono ki khoob jam ree thi, aur aisich kai saal tak dosti badhti rahee. sab chuwwe hairath karte the. ek din hatti bimaar pad gaya. chuwwa jhat se jaake daktar ko leko aaya. Dr hatti kaa poora check up karke bolaki hatti antadiyon mein infection hai aur jaldi se wahan pe dawai nai lagaay to hatti mar jaata.Chuwwa poocha hatti ke antediyon ko dawai kaisa laga sakte. to dr bolaa ke une hatti ke gaand mein ek pipe dalinga aur chuwwa us pipe se andar jaake antadiyon ko dawai lagaake bahar aajana. dost ke khatir chuwwa raazi ho gaya aur pipe ke zariye hatti ke gaaf mein ghus gaya. jaisich chuwwa andar gaya hatti ko cheenkh aayi aur hatti cheenkh diya. jaisich hatti cheenka , hatti ki gaand mein se pipe baahar aur chuwwa andar. :shock: :shock: :shock:

Isliye bolte " badon ki gaand mei ghusna nai, choton ko gaand mein ghusaalena nai".
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Bade Bhai » Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:08 am

kiraakpasha wrote:June ke baad se koi aayeich nai yaan pe... aatain ki nai ki? Kaan gaye ki sob logaan... Bhaimiya, Kulcha Hyderabadi... Sania?


kyaa yaich kaam karle te rahinge. masroof hunge apne apne kaamon mein. naye lateefay sunne mein aai to aake sunainge.

khair tumaare ko hasaane ko main thode lekhaun dekho. acche lage to mail karo. uske baad ye mat bolo ki dil nai lagraa bade bhai, aake mujraa karke jao. mere ko mujraa aata nai mai karta nai. sabar kare to phir thode khate, phikke, bad budaar chodtaun.
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby any audio sites for dholak ke geet » Sun Oct 02, 2011 8:32 am

please mujhe koi dholak ke geet wali site batao na.. :its been years i didnt get to hear one..me in usa..
any audio sites for dholak ke geet
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby bade bhai » Sun Oct 16, 2011 12:44 am

any audio sites for dholak ke geet wrote:please mujhe koi dholak ke geet wali site batao na.. :its been years i didnt get to hear one..me in usa..

site ki kyaa jaroorat hai ji, dono haathon se chuttadon pe maarlena shuroo karo, thodi der mein ek dholak ka geet banjaata. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby ASGHER » Sat Mar 17, 2012 7:46 pm

EK KANJOOS KO COCONUT (NARIYAL) CHAHIYE THA
WO DOOKAN PE CHAL PADA QAREED NE KE LIYE
" BHAI NARIYAL KITNE KA HAI ?"
JEE WO 10 RS KA HAI !
ARE 7 ME DEDO NA SAAB?
BAAZO KI DUKAN JAAO !
BAAZO KI DUKAN PER " BHAI NARIYAL KITNE KA HAI ?
KYA NARIYAL 7 KA HAI !
4 RS ME DEDO?
BAAZO KI DUKAN PE JAO
BAAZO KI DUKAN PE NARIYAL KITNE KA HAI ?
WO 4 RS KA HAI !
1 RUPIYE ME DEDO?
AISA 1ME KAIKU FREE ME LO MAGAR WO JO SAMNE JHAD (TREE) DIKHRA BOWLI (WELL) KE
BAAZO WAHAN SE TODLO !
WO KANJUSE CHAL PADA TODNE JHAD PE CHADGAYA TODNE KI KOSHISH ME GIRTE GIRTE
NARIYAL KO PAKADLIYA AUR CHILLANE LAGA BACHAO ! BACHAO !!
TABHI WAHAN SE EK GAUNTI (VILLAGER) JA RAHE THEY WO BOLE AGAR MAIN BACHAYA TO
TUM MUJHE KYA DOGE ?
WO KANJUS BOLA EK LAAKH DOONGA ! ! !
EK LAAKH WO KITNE HOTE ?
KANJUSE HAATH CHODKE BOLA ITNE "(( ))" HOTE!
AUR BOWLI ME JA GIRA...
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Re: Chalo hojaye kuch latifey (jokes)

Postby Bhaimiya » Sun Mar 18, 2012 10:47 pm

:lol:
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