Absolutely.............

[Conscious]

Appalled!!! I just ran thorugh the \"Matrimonials\" section on this website and I could not believe the fact that there are advertisements with details I would only disclose with my closest. I have been trying to think why we have matrimonial columns in the first place. You can\'t tell me it is difficult to find partner (in a population of 1 billion with an equal ratio of sexes) on our own? Do we lack self-determination, is it social stigma, or the fear of being outcasted by our own families? I personally think it is a product of all three in addition to the absolute fear to make our own decisions. People of this generation need to understand that in order for us to move ahead we need to \"move forward\" not backwards. There is always going to be a gap between generations and the only way to bridge it is to go with the flow. I guess it is also important for parents to recognize the fact that they need to bridge their own gaps to help bridge their childrens\'. The second fold to the issue I believe is the fact that we in the 21st century are still so immersed in this \"caste\" - pardon my french \"bull@#$%\". An ad. reads \"Bride needed - Brahmin 5\"8\"+ - must be living in USA\". Holy cow, what the heck do people think? Any one that is 5\'8\", Brahmin, and educated in the States is good enough for them to give their daughters away to? Has anyone thought about how traumatic it is to be moving away from home for the first time, to a new country with no friends except for this guy/girl she/he met for a few hours? Give it a break folks! Wake up and smell the coffee! Here\'s the classic uncertainity theory - one too many variables and indeterminate factors for things to fall into place. Even the probability that she\'ll have a good life is based on the probability that the guy is half as decent - mathematically, the chance is a fraction and figuratively, what we have is a sitting duck. There\'s only two people that can make decisions on such a relationship...not the families, the brothers, the starts or lines on the palms, so why is it so darn difficult to understand? The three noble truth, my friends - selection based on caste will cut down your best prospects by a 1000th; not everyone that is in the United States is rich and smart; and not everyone that is fair skinned is fair.
The third fold: I am amazed that people actually do not think twice before advertising their entire family histories on websites. How ignorant is it not to realize the extent of access the internet has - now, every street corner sociopath on the prowl now has even the address to track down an innocent bride (or groom, as the case maybe). Life goes on in our country - nothing will change unless we do. Unless we tell our friends, and families with resolve, the direction we want to set and follow, the stigmas are here to stay to impede mental and social development of our people.

[sri]

Dear Conscious, thanks for posting a nice message. Yesterday night I saw George Michael's album "DOG SHOW". I got so elated to see the special cartoons and the fearless free message which George was trying to give. Afterwards he had some problems which I don't know. Where is Mr George now? Now lets come to the topic. What am I trying to say is that the rich and democratic country like United States must be very different from our India where racism still exists officially. You discussed about Brahmins. I am also a south Indian Brahmin, got graduated long back could not find Central services. My grand father and my father were govt. servents. To the best of my knowledge they didn't take even a single penny of the government. In that chain I was trying to get some state or Central servises. Though I was not the best, I was very good in my ratings. Still I dont know I was kicked both by UPSC and was strongly stoned by the state government as well. Whose mistake is this? I wandered here and there like a camel/angry fox or whatever it may be. Meantime beleive me I lost the basic pleasures of life like girlfriend/boyfriend/outing/picnic/relaxed mood nothing for some time i went to mandirs(temples) of all known states including your andhra and even maharashtra also finally after 6 1/2 years somehow i managed to get some decent place please dont ask me questions like why didnot you join good private companies etc this is all fate predecided by god.well come to the point once again regarding girls of our country really they make USA behind in these matters.they get partners easily.they select the gents not like olden times where men selected women. now a days women selects right guys the guy should generally be smiling most of the times with good employment and heavy pockets.this is normal everywhere you know on that day in 10downing street pub behind lifestyle show room the scene was this .Two girls chat hug and do other small things with two guys for about an hour of time.They enjoy nice mugs of beer with cigerettes.Well Now a fresh male group of 3 comes sits somewhere around the corner. In 5 minutes time one of the lady runs around and joins the new men of three. the lady no2 also joins the fresh male group. Alas the initial two persons deserted they quickly vacates the house after paying for everything. YOU SEE I GOT REALLY HAPPY BY SEEING THIS BECAUSE FREEDOM OF WOMEN IS THE BEST SOCIAL INDEX OF ANY COUNTRY OR ANY PART OF A COUNTRY.please my dear friend by the way what is your original name?? please tell me which person will marry which lady or vice versa please discuss more give me more points for discussion thanks for reading this my pal.

[Conscious]

I received replies to my previous message that I was too vague. I thought I was clear enough about what I had to say in the message above, but it looks like some of you do not think the same. I apologize if I am being too candid, but I do not believe there is any point in continuing the conversation unless someone has a valid point to make.

[sri]

dear in the whole hyderabad netusers i am the only person to respond you somebody may answer your question up to that time wait and watch.

[wounded heart]

dear consious it is very pathetic that in india family of the bridegroom goes to the family of bride. both the couples meet for the first time .Under force they agree for marriage they dont knoe the negative facts of each other it is really very painful and pathetic also my dear. My strong condolences to the millions of affected in this regard.

[Joan of Arc]

I quite agree with u. Yesterday, a colleague of mine was typing out his sister\'s bio-data. I didn\'t pay too much attention initially, but a closer look revealed stuff like \"gothram\" etc. I was flabbergasted when I found out that it was for an alliance! Gawd! There are some things that I just won\'t understand.

[masterloser]

i was also affected by this way of arranged marriage system
i got a bad lady and got divorced 2 years later with great difficulty. so westwern system has to be followed atleast to some extent.

[neeraj]

master loser,

sir why do you say you got a bad lady??? why the lady might have got a bad man, as the coin has two sides my dear friend!!!!!!!!!

[masterloser]

Hey Neeraj, I just wanted to check your mentality, whether you are good or bad man:)