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Kanakapu Simhaasanamuna...

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Kanakapu Simhaasanamuna...

by The fullhyd.com Editor » Wed Nov 20, 2002 11:41 pm

Proving that even the greatest of publications have to scrape the bottom of the barrel sometimes in their search for talent, The Times Of India once commissioned fullhyd.com\'s editor to do an article, on how the hysteria that the Nizam\'s jewelry exhibition had spawned in town was helping a lot of second-rate merchants of dubious ethics make a quick buck peddling corny wares as merchandize/souvenirs of the famed Jewels. <br><br>Like anything written by fullhyd.com\'s writers outside of fullhyd.com, the article got rejected. You know how that ol\' poem goes - \"Kanakapu Simhaasanamuna...\" The venerable newspaper was appalled at the piece, but fullhyd.com is neither venerable nor a newspaper, and so here we go publishing another piece that no one else will publish!<br><br><font size = 1><i>More seriously, this was just a spoof on the various money-making attempts by unscrupulous traders who were selling just anything cashing in on the popularity of the Jewels and the Nizams. fullhyd.com has utmost respect for the rich heritage of the city\'s erstwhile rulers and the magnificent artisanship that the Jewels represent, and this article in no way or part attempts to refer to them in anything below the highest levels of respect that they command.</i></font><hr><br>Attention all you Nizams’ Jewelry exhibition visitors! Sick of all those glib charlatans peddling a whole lot of junk outside the Salarjung Museum as souvenirs of your visit? Well, here’s some wonderful Nizams’ Jewelry merchandise that you can actually use! We figured that discerning customers like you who paid 60 bucks to see <i>someone else’s</i> jewelry would certainly be interested in this, so here it is...<br><br><br><div align = center><font size = 4><b>The Catalog Of The <i>Real</i> Nizams’ Jewelry Merchandise!</b></font></div><br><br>


<font size = 1>Book</font><br>
<b>Evolution Of The Nizams’ Jewels – Various Contemporary Perspectives</b><br><br>

<b><i>“Extraordinary, amazing!”</i></b><br>
- The Observer<br>
<b><i>“Awesome, stupendous, mind-blowing!!”</i></b><br>
- The Sunday Tribune<br>
<b><i>“There are simply no words appropriate enough for it!!!”</i></b><br>
- The Guardian<br><br>

This is how some of the world’s leading publications have described the willpower required to read through this only guide to the jewels that you’ll ever need. A true value-for-money book, this mind-numbing compilation has 258 completely different versions of the history of the jewels so as to truly empower you, the reader, to choose whichever you want. To make the edition truly interactive, each copy comes with 10 coupons to enable you give up to 10 of your own versions, and the most legibly written of these will be accepted for publication in the next edition. Available in 3 formats:<br><br>

<b>Hardback……...Rs. 999.95<br>
Paperback…….Rs. 299.95<br>
Free…………….If you agree to let us claim that you paid for it</b><br><br><br>


<font size = 1>Tonic</font><br>
<b>UnNizamiser</b><br><br>

If you are paying to watch the jewels it obviously means you didn’t get to own them, and the whole thing can be a particularly depressing experience as you realize how cruelly fate shortchanged you. And that’s where our miracle tonic UnNizamiser comes in! Only UnNizamiser has 3 active ingredients to get you out of your blues in double-quick time:<br><br>

1. <b>Medullocin</b> – hypercharges the veins that take blood to your brain to make you think logically. Who’s the Nizam anyway? What’s left of him if you take away his title, his money, his property, his connections, his charm, his fame and his goodwill? You!<br>
2. <b>Poofomyx</b> – helps you get bigger than the Nizam in record time. Makes you start an imitation jewelry store, grow rapidly to a chain of imitation jewelry stores across the country, then become global imitation jewelry kingpin, do IPO on Nasdaq, become billionaire, thumb your nose at the Nizam, start bellowing with laughter as he looks devastated, and wake up with a start as you fall off the bed.<br>
3. <b>Relativita</b> – makes you realize that you spent 5 times as much on this tonic as on watching the jewels, and takes you into greater depression thereby eliminating impact of original.<br><br>

<b>UnNizamiser…..Rs. 300.00</b><br>
Mfd.: Nov 2001<br>
Best before: Using<br>
Keep out of sight of children and your doctor.<br><br><br>



<font size = 1>Activity Kit</font><br>
<b>The Complete Nizams’ Jewels Do-It-Yourself Kit</b><br><br>

So what if you didn’t get to inherit them? Now you can make your own Nizams’ jewels, thanks to our revolutionary Do-It-Yourself kit! In this you find:<br><br>

1. <b>The Nizams’ Carbon</b>: Bought exclusively from the Nizams, this carbon has been treated using our path-breaking and patented radio-dating technology, which enables it, when buried in your backyard, to convert to diamond in just 1.25 million years, as against the 2 million years that normal carbon takes! A reduction by a whopping 37.5%! And this guaranteed – even if it takes one day more, we’ll return your money in full, no questions asked.<br>
2. <b>Ready-To-Be Nizam’s Jewels</b>: Buy these exquisite delicately hand-crafted jewels for an unbelievable price of Rs. 46,57,999.95, and you are just one step away from making them the Nizam’s jewels – just gift them to the Nizam!<br>

3. <b>RoldSmith</b>: Our unique FREE CD that can make you create more models of the jewelry than all the Nizams’ goldsmiths ever dreamt possible! Cutting a diamond was never so easy, and as you work with various image sizes, you wonder what that fuss about largeness is all about.<br><br>

<b>The Complete Nizams’ Jewels Do-It-Yourself Kit</b><br>
The Nizams’ Carbon……………...Rs. 249.95 per kg<br>
Ready-To-Be Nizam’s Jewels……Rs. 46,57,999.95<br>
Ready-To-Be Nizam’s Jewels are also available without The Nizams’ Carbon, but purchase of both entitles you to a discount of 10% on the carbon.<br><br>


So what are you waiting for? Pick up that phone, and order now!<br><br>
The fullhyd.com Editor
Registered User
 

Kanakapu Simhaasanamuna...

by Ki » Thu Nov 21, 2002 2:30 pm

Writing is not exactly Heaven. Especially, when one happens to have a cranky boss... ;)
Ki
Guest
 

Kanakapu Simhaasanamuna...

by vivek of themavericks » Thu Nov 21, 2002 5:03 pm

This is actually funny, unlike what i write
http://www.wiredbeats.com - Download Attitude for Free!

How will it end?
vivek of themavericks
Registered User
 

Kanakapu Simhaasanamuna...

by avinash » Sat Nov 23, 2002 11:53 am

I think I need a double dose of UnNizamizer, on the rocks :)
seriously though, cleverly written.
avinash
Guest
 

Kanakapu Simhaasanamuna...

by Nizam » Sun Nov 24, 2002 5:34 pm

Where is my jewellery , money , monuments , Land..Give me back all my belongings. Aaaaann!.
Nizam
Guest
 

hey

by JasonGawker » Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:12 pm

hey,



that's a very impressive book, i think. the publication behind it is definitely a robust, strong and powerful one - releasing this type of books is very important these days. speaking of which, have you read this? i find it very relevant and interesting, especially when dealing with the delicate matter of the jewels of nizams :)



best,

jason
JasonGawker
Registered User
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:10 pm

Kanakapu / Karra Simhasanamu Aina

by HH » Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:44 pm

Kanakapu / Karra Simhasanamu Aina

Simhasanamu Unna Leka Poyina

Mari Ala Tokalu Upakandi Kukkalu

Reddy Unna Naidu Babu Vachchina

Tokalu Kattirinchestaru

Tasmat Jagratta!



:wink:
Build Heaven & Earth Links!
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HH
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Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2004 8:40 am



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