The best real life goof ups in English - twisted interpretat

by **Ash** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 3:17 pm

Seen on the sign board of a Ladies' Tailor shop in Malakpet -

XYZ Tailors - Expert in Ladies.

by **vivek** » Thu Feb 05, 2004 9:11 pm

The best one recently read. Male body building club. Includes female body trainers!

by **Mayavi Morpheus** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:45 am

Not a goof up, but done purposefully:

One day I was in the control systems class and talkin with friends as usual and not paying attention to the lecture. The instructor, a female, was a "just graduate" (two years senior) so we didnt respect her much. She came to me, asked me to stand up and said "meerayithe baga chaduvukuntaru, anni telusu, vere vallani vinanivvara" and she made a sad face as if begging me to listen to her lecture.

My friend felt pity and said "arey, madam feel ayyindi ra" and I was thinking how to translate tht sentence to english - word to word - and laughed at that thought. Mean time the instructor came to us again and asked why we were laughing and I said "madam, we felt that u feelded very well!"

by **asli_badmash** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 7:56 am

1. My College prof while writing on the board said this - Dont stand in front of my back. :lol:

2. My school teacher while sending three students out of class said this - Both of you three get out... :lol:

3. A student in my class wanted to distribute class work books after the teacher had done correcting them... he said this - "Whos Whos books those those take". :lol:

4. Me and a bunch of my friends were sitting in the class and doing general masti yaar... My college prof caught us and said this - "Laugh Laugh... Exam time I laugh.. you cry".

by ZC » Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:02 pm

dont remember where but, the board says "Dr. DABBULU" its actually...Dr. D. ABBULU........ :lol:

by **vivek** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:54 pm

Somewhere i read : If we point to our wrist while asking the time, why don't point to out butt and ask 'wheres the bathroom"! :shock:

by **azazel** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:32 pm

college prof. Khassaab , the butcher of English:

Plz cloase the door of the window!

Shhhsssssh everyone, just now principal passed away

on someone askin doubt, Eat mango no, y counting trees??

tryin to stop a student, U, U.. stand up, stand up!

by **Happy Hyderabadi** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 5:23 pm

azazel wrote:college prof. Khassaab , the butcher of English:

Plz cloase the door of the window!
Shhhsssssh everyone, just now principal passed away
on someone askin doubt, Eat mango no, y counting trees??
tryin to stop a student, U, U.. stand up, stand up!

Add the following:

Vintage "Gems" from Guntur Prof A:

* Boys & Girls open your drawers and star the Experiments! (in Chem Lab)

:oops:

* Comers coming goers going askers not ask tellers not tell (of Student Traffic in Class)

* Why don't you write oil on your head and come (to unkempt hair Students)

:roll:

* Don't pour (suddenly) ... pour pour pour (slowly)

Engineering College, Drawing Lecturer:

* 6 inch line DRAW karo, usko BISECT karo, PERPENDICULAR maro

("English mein bolna? Mian DRAW, BISECT, PERPENDICULAR English nai kya ...)

* Tauba tauba. Mar diye bhai. Ek TABLET idhar, ek TABLET sir pe, aur ek TABLET yahan (Of US President Kennedy's Assassination by Sniper's BULLETS ...)

:shock:

* I Faq U Haq (to Visitor from Abroad)

:oops:

Saar proceeded Abroad, to Middle East, to avoid this English kirikiri

by **rock_26iin** » Thu Mar 25, 2004 8:27 pm

I caught this on a board in Pune:

Guitars Cheap - No strings attached

then there are things ppl say:

Draw a straight circle!

Tomorrow is Parents Day, ure parents are invited, ure Father and Mother can also come along

Open the window, let the climate come in

U know what, my mom and dad got married on the same day.

by **Mayavi Morpheus** » Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:58 am

Kaha suna:

One Engineering mechanincs prof in MJ Engg college trying to introduce the concept of friction with an example:

"When Plane takes off and takes on, tyres touch ground, friction causes fire!"

:shock:

by **Happy Hyderabadi** » Thu Apr 01, 2004 10:05 am

- Today, is it Full / Fool Day?! :wink:

- If April 1, why only today's Fool / Full Day ... Other days /dates are

- people Wise / Otherwise?!

- If Day Fool, is Night Owl (Wise Bird ...)! :roll:

- Single with ton may be 'singleton', all by oneself / itself!

- But Simple with ton, 'Simpleton' is a Fool ... :oops:

- You have pone in 'Hydropone', you may 'postpone'.

- But cannot 'prepone' ... You have to 'advance'!

AFTERALL, March has marched ... from today April ADVANCES!

by **vivek** » Thu Apr 01, 2004 11:19 am

what the hell was that?

by **Happy Hyderabadi** » Thu Apr 01, 2004 1:20 pm

Today is Happy "Fool" Day.

Some say Success "Fool" Day.

A few say Simple "Ton", when they mean just "Simple".

Some say "Prepone", when they mean "Advance" the day of their Journey.

Be Happy, never "Hoppy"!

by **azazel** » Sat May 01, 2004 1:07 am

died on all fool's day.. revived on May Day :twisted:

found at the Flyover to the departure lounge at the Airport:

2 wheelers not allowed upstaras

behind the tempo of Paradise Coal Depot:

use charcoal for the real taste of food !

Ad in Lost n Found:

Lost, wristwatch by lady with a cracked face

by **Jaszalcatraz** » Sat May 01, 2004 3:58 am

My definition of bad english......

Azazel saying "I hate Britney Spears".

Ok OK, it aint bad english, but it's factually wrong.

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Sat May 01, 2004 4:26 am

Our football coach in college gave us a couple of wonderful gaffes.

1. Two guys wanted to play with the college team. They went to the coach and asked him if they could. Pat comes the reply..."Meet me in the sports room when you are empty"

2. We were discussing apathy of some parents towards the girl child once and the coach butts in with his opinion...."Whats wrong with having a girl child? Both my daughters are girls."

My grandmother caused some great moments when we were in gujjuland. She had a minimal knowledge of hindi and didn't know gujarati at all. We had a maid who knew nothing but gujju. Once, the maid came late to work and said to my granny...."aaj moda ho gaya"(I'm late today - moda in gujju means late). My granny goes out, looks at the sky and says...."Haan! bahut moda hai" (mod in konkani (our mother tongue) means clouds).

Will keep posting as i remember more. Have some absolute gems which I came across during my stint as a trainer with a Call Centre training institute. These are some statements made by Computer Tech Support reps on calls.

1. Please remove the plug from your backside.

2. Can I hold you? (He wanted to ask if he could put the caller on hold)

And here's the big one (moderators...please excuse...this really happened in a class of sixteen 20-somethings and it was followed by 10 minutes of uncontrollable laughter). There was this girl who wanted to leave early for the day and I asked her why. She said she had to go n get a BJ done. What she actually meant was getting her hair blow-dried and she didn't even know why everyone was laughing.

by **azazel** » Sat May 01, 2004 1:53 pm

Habitual Perfectionist wrote:There was this girl who wanted to leave early for the day and I asked her why. She said she had to go n get a BJ done. What she actually meant was getting her hair blow-dried and she didn't even know why everyone was laughing.

haaaarharharharhahahaha

by **azazel** » Tue May 04, 2004 8:44 pm

bakery opened near NMDC..

'Bakes and Cakes' :twisted:

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Tue May 04, 2004 8:56 pm

azazel wrote:bakery opened near NMDC..
'Bakes and Cakes'

Cakes of what? Just Curious!!

by BM » Tue May 04, 2004 8:57 pm

One of our friend used to say:

Buying a car is no problem but MENTAL is problem :lol:

by **azazel** » Wed May 05, 2004 1:13 am

Habitual Perfectionist wrote:Cakes of what? Just Curious!!

name of the place HP, bakes and cakes

kya sochke rakhe, mereku nai maloom :roll:

by **Happy Hyderabadi** » Wed May 05, 2004 7:57 am

Habitual Perfectionist wrote:...
Cakes of what? Just Curious!!

HP, Message Should Be Moving ... 'Avatar' Should Be Steady!

:wink:

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Wed May 05, 2004 8:36 pm

Happy Hyderabadi wrote:
Habitual Perfectionist wrote:...
Cakes of what? Just Curious!!

HP, Message Should Be Moving ... 'Avatar' Should Be Steady!

Mera message bahut gehra hota hai...shaant paani ki tarah...aur shaant paani hilta nahi.

As for the Avatar....it rocks...probably the coolest one around.

by **Habitual Perfectionist** » Wed May 05, 2004 8:43 pm

azazel wrote:
name of the place HP, bakes and cakes
kya sochke rakhe, mereku nai maloom

aise hi masti mein poocha bhai....cakes dekha to i remembered cakes of gobar....lol...and before anyone else points this out...I accept that I have a dirty mind.

by **CtrlAltDel** » Wed May 05, 2004 8:50 pm

Habitual Perfectionist wrote:...I accept that I have a dirty mind.

my competitor? :shock:

The best real life goof ups in English - twisted interpretat

...

English Kirikiri

Full or Fool!

Highlight on wrong usage!

Message Should Be Moving ...

Re: Message Should Be Moving ...

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