fake advertisment

[mark]

I thought a thread where we could advertise fake/real products and services in a funny way would be nice.



Example:

"Have you just graduated from Engineering?

Are you so focused on getting work abroad that you're willing to compromise on all your core values?

Are you willing to work up to 150 hours a week, 52 weeks a year?



If the answer to the above questions is "Yes", then a career at InfoWipSis Consultancy Systems may be for you! Why spend time doing what you want to do, when you could be realising our goals for us? Why waste your evenings with family and friends when you could secure your dull future by never leaving the office? We hire virtually everybody that applies!

So send us your CV today. You'll be in the US before you can say "Mindless automaton"

[CtrlAltDel]

...We hire virtually everybody that applies!

:lol:



applies to many IT companies now. incl mine whats missing is a sign at the gate saying "Trespassers would be Recruited"...

[agonys_requiem]

I thought a thread where we could advertise fake/real products and services in a funny way would be nice.

Example:
"Have you just graduated from Engineering?
Are you so focused on getting work abroad that you're willing to compromise on all your core values?
Are you willing to work up to 150 hours a week, 52 weeks a year?

If the answer to the above questions is "Yes", then a career at InfoWipSis Consultancy Systems may be for you! Why spend time doing what you want to do, when you could be realising our goals for us? Why waste your evenings with family and friends when you could secure your dull future by never leaving the office? We hire virtually everybody that applies!
So send us your CV today. You'll be in the US before you can say "Mindless automaton"

u shuda taken the blue pill man....

[agonys_requiem]

Are you the lucky owner of a pair of arms and legs? hey!! even a head wud do!!!



If your answer is YES... plz get in touch with us at thtsriteweneeducuzubreathe@honestly.com



When you work for us... we make sure you work for the noble cause of forwarding a generation of monkeys. Mind you now. Not just any species of monkeys. But the very species that actually learned how to use the opposable thumb!!! Yes.. you heard us right. We are talking about you. Doesnt matter if everyone else around you is like you. We just want you!! In a world of self replicating useless idea generating mayhem. We need unique people like you. As unique as the word "cat" being said in forty different languages. We will give you an office, where you will sit and add to the chaos of the universe. How? Well.. existin isnt enough.. we need you to compound and add to the worthless number of dumfuks around you by becoming one of them. And then.. provin to us.. that you are infact... NOT one of them. Even though we here know thats not possible.. we will let you believe so..... And guess wht!! we will even fkin pay you!!! How does tht grab your nuts?!?!? dont like it?!! cmon over and we wil grab them for you....



ps : ppl who get tht weird feeling of freedom when they think on their own need not apply...

[Sharjeel]

[i]Have a busy life? Wish you could have more time? Want to break free from the clutches of a happy settled life? Or are you already unemployed and/or bored/free?



Tadaaaa! The new and improved YBox with new improved graphics and fast processor. The wet dream of every couch potato and a must have for the unemployed!



It's new and improved features will ensure that you forget about your otherwise dull/busy life and swallow you into a faiyland of game playing. Deadlines will no longer be unavoidable, no work will be important, and no amount of nagging will bother you. You can expect to forget unimportant tasks like sleeping and eating and going to the loo. Optional online connectivity will make sure that pretty soon, you will be jobless and friendless, and without a care in the world.



Student can kiss their previously great scores goodbye. Expect your homework and termwork to pile up, and all your walk into the classroom with groggy eyes due to all-night gaming. All your good and faithful friends will leave you. No more birthday parties and study sessions!



Buy a YBox. _ life!

[mark]

Are you a little too motivated?

Do you often do things today that could be put off till tomorrow?

Can you run up stairs without wheezing?



Marajuana usage could solve all these issues at once! Guaranteed to turn you into a lifeless loser! your family will be amazed at your lack of energy, motivation and general health!



Peripheral benefits include laughing your ass off at nothing for hours, eating your bodyweight in pizza each week, and risking arrest!



so what are you waiting for? cruise down to your local ghetto and pick up some green. What the hell else were you going to do with your life?

[mark]

Presenting the rolly eye emoticon!



Perfect for assh0les everywhere to express their superior knowledge, while dismissing your point of view! So much is said by that little yellow face and those bored, beady eyes rolling back and indicating utter contempt for everything you stand for! That little bemused half-smile that says "You are a complete and utter waste of space, and I am superior to you in every conceivable way" will surely ensure you gain the upper hand in an argument!



So use it as often as possible, and prove you are the arrogant whiny prick that we all knew you were anyway!

[agonys_requiem]

:roll: Presenting the rolly eye emoticon!

Perfect for assh0les everywhere to express their superior knowledge, while dismissing your point of view! So much is said by that little yellow face and those bored, beady eyes rolling back and indicating utter contempt for everything you stand for! That little bemused half-smile that says "You are a complete and utter waste of space, and I am superior to you in every conceivable way" will surely ensure you gain the upper hand in an argument!

So use it as often as possible, and prove you are the arrogant whiny prick that we all knew you were anyway!

snicker

[mark]

"The Second Shameless Post-Boosting Thread" - For when you haven't really got anything to say..... but you haven't really got anything to do either!

[Sharjeel]

:roll: Presenting the rolly eye emoticon!

Perfect for assh0les everywhere to express their superior knowledge, while dismissing your point of view! So much is said by that little yellow face and those bored, beady eyes rolling back and indicating utter contempt for everything you stand for! That little bemused half-smile that says "You are a complete and utter waste of space, and I am superior to you in every conceivable way" will surely ensure you gain the upper hand in an argument!

So use it as often as possible, and prove you are the arrogant whiny prick that we all knew you were anyway!

[mark]

Ever feel like the world is a cruel joke, a twisted mess of broken images, a nightmare which you will soon wake up from? Like you are a cog in a machine, a mindless self-replicating android, a useless waste of resources? No? Good! Only losers feel that way!

Winners feel that the world is a great place, and continue to lead productive lives without questioning the value of their existence.

If you're having doubts about our modern corporate culture, then pseudo-regressive electro-hypnotherapy may be for you! We'll soon have you going about your productive day with a big loose smile on your face, and no memory of your previous, deviant personality. Your church, government and employer will all love the new you, passive and compliant!



Pseudo-regressive electro-hypnotherapy. Happiness is just 40000 volts away!

[mark]

are you tired of your neighbours immoral/indecent/unpatriotic/offensive behaviour? Fed up of having to sit and do nothing as they earn more than you and blatently rub your face in it by having a bigger car? Are their kids smarter than your kids? Annex them! in the new Leibestraum (tm) kit, we'll send you everything you need to invade your neighbours, and occupy and defend your new territory. Your smartarse neighbours will become refugees of the worlds smallest territorial armed conflict!



The kit contains:

1 shotgun, large

1 rifle, large

1 pitchfork, medium

5 hand grenades, large

5 body bags, 2 large three small

1 megaphone (for negotiating their surrender)





Kill them all!

[HH]

"Far To Gas" - Extracted From The Best "Razz Maa" Seeds!... Extract Of Handpicked BEST "Razz Maa" Seeds! ... Mix In Boiling Water and Drink ... Guaranteed To Release Foul Smelling "Rear Gases" ... GUARANTEED To Drive Away ALL Offensive Neighbours & Keep Them At Bay ... Enormous Military Potential ... Can Be Made Part Of Diet In Border Area People ... "Rear Gases" Blanket WILL KEEP WAY Neighbouring Infiltrators & Other Trouble Makers! ... THANKS TO "Far To Gas"

[akhilis2cool]