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Ban Salaaam E Ishq

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Ban Salaaam E Ishq

by wiredbeats » Sat Jan 27, 2007 8:33 pm

A movie made to run over 150Mins is a bad movie even if the story is gripping. People like the Wachowsky Brothers and Quentin Tarantino have lost their bets on the academy awards only because they had to split their films into part 2 and part 3 for reasons of running time.



Sadly, back home our directors need to consider editing as a serious value addition to the movies they make. Salaam E Ishq is a 3 hour 45 Mins tedious ordeal with 6 couples and 12 different problems in interpreting the shade of love that they are supposed be savoring. Only that, they don’t get what they want (or do they?) and that is what the movie is about.



Director Nikil Advani ( the dude who directed Kal Ho Na Ho) forgot one aspect in the life cycle of movie making, editing. Hence, the audience is treated with multi-screen, multi-colour, multi-lingual, multi-geographic melee of well, love.



There is a couple that suffers from commitment phobia wherein the lady wants to marry but the guy chickens out. Then there is another inter-cast couple wherein the lady looses her memory and remembers everything except her husband! And then, there is this couple where the man gets ‘naughty at 40’.



Too much! Wait there are 3 more.



Also, we have one more couple which start of as a smoke screen for the public at large owing to commercial interests and later love blossoms between them. We are overfed with one more variant of a couple who are not meant to be because the New Yorker blond is in search of her Indian boy friend. And lastly, we have a couple living in a joint family and are waiting to consummate their marriage but they are always in search of a room, even if it is a moving train.



So those are the 6 shades of love which the audience is expected to eat, digest and then enjoy and all this takes a good 3 hour 45 mins only for you to realize that you are suffering from loose motions and you desperately want to get out of the movie hall. The reason, bad food or food poisoning one may think.



There is nothing in this ridiculous drama with it painlessly changing tracks between couple 1 to couple 3 to couple 6 to wherever. Your head spins because human brain is not built to process 12 different things when you are reasoning and/or the processing input #1.



The movie is a colossal failure of narration and comes out like a long masala dosa with lots of yesterday night’s leftover mixed vegetable in between. One does not know what he is tasting, could be potato, onion or just the masala. But lo behold, you stomach just gave up and you have to leave the movie hall.



I now take pride in proclaiming that in my constant Endeavour to watch all kinds of movies, week after week, I have now seen the longest movie ever made.



However, if you are a couple and of the 6th kind, you can find plenty of room to consummate in the movie hall with no one watching you. All you have to do is to let this weekend go.
http://www.wiredbeats.com - Download Attitude for Free!

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