My father talks too much

[daughter]

when i was young, my father was an introvert, he wouldn\'t talk much with anybody. that time, i wished he could open up little bit and talk to me. now he is retired and talks too much that i feel like saying \"Enough, Stop!\". i don\'t know what\'s this transition(both in me and him). but i really feel guilty for hating his conversations. any psycho analysts on the boards? help !

[Dart]

Dear Daughter, I am not a psycho analyst - However, would say that there is a natural phenomenal change in humans with age with varying degrees. It is generally observed that people after retirement start to feel unwanted and aloof and this has a heavy impact on their personality and thinking. They somehow would like to interfere in every day matters big or small and talk to everybody just to assure themselves that they are still worth and they are still important. At this time it is the family that can assure him and be compassionate to him and help restore in him the feeling of being important and that retirement has no effect on day to day life. The other thing is that they should be passionately treated by one and all in the family - overdoing will be a problem again. The other thing is that they must be encouraged to get engaged in some activities - may be part time jobs, freelancing (if professionals) etc..etc.. so that they do not feel bored sitting home. Hope you will find something useful in this message.

[vivek of themavericks]

How about this?, when your dad was working, he was busy enought to talk to you just enough for what a dad- daughter needed to. Now, that he is retired, he feels he has got the time to talk to you, as much as he needed to. All these go in the sub-concious level. Its after all you dad, talk to him. Its costs nothing

[Faheem]

I totally agree with Dart on this...Also, just today I recieved this forwarded message... Its worth reading atleast on this board.. Here it is

An old man was sitting in the courtyard of his house along with his son

who had received a high education.
Suddenly a crow perched on a wall of the house.

The father asked the son: What is this?
The son replied: It is a crow.

After a little while the father again asked the son: What is this?
The son said: It is a crow.

After a few minutes the father asked his son the third time: What is this?
The son said: Father, I have just now told you that this is a crow.

After a little while the old father again asked his son the fourth time: what is this?

By this time some expression of irritation was felt in the son\'s tone

when he rebuffed his father:

Father! It is a crow, a crow.

A little after the father again asked his son: What is this?

T! his time the son replied to his father with a vein of temper.

Father: You are always repeating the same question,

although I have told you so many times that it is a crow.

Are you not able to understand this?


The father went to his room and came back with an old diary.

Opening a page he asked his son to read what was written.

What the son read were the following words written in the diary:

\' Today my little son was sitting with me in the courtyard, when a crow came there.

My son asked me twenty-five times what it was

and I told him twenty-five times that it was a crow and I did not at all feel irritated.

I rather felt affection for my innocent child.\'

The father then explained to his son

the difference between a father\'s and a son\'s attitude.


While you were a little child you asked me this question twenty-five times
and I felt no irritation in replying to the question twenty-five times
and when today I asked you the same question only five times,
you felt irritated, annoyed and impatient with me.
---------

\"Thy Lord hath decreed That ye worship none but Him, And that ye be kind To parents. Whether one Or both of them attain Old age in thy life, Say not to them a word Of contempt, nor repel them, But address them In terms of honour. And, out of kindness, Lower them to the wing Of humility, and say: \"My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they Cherished me in childhood.\"
Surah Bani-Israil (The Children of Israel) 17:23-24

[i_d]

faheem, what is this torture man? very good example about the crow... now my question, because the question was put by a innocent child he could answer it patiently for 25 times, because here every one knows when you are born u are innocent, etc. etc. But had the question been put by the father\'s younger brother 25 times would the father have answered it??? he would have immediately frowned at him... because as a grown up there is a sort of expected behavior from every one. And finally, for every one their father is a role model and a hero... and at the same time everybody knows that talking too much makes a man look like a fool... so there is nothing wrong in daughter asking this question.... give some useful suggestion faheem babu...

[daughter]

thanks everbody for your replies, but the crow(faheem\'s) example is not practical. coz when i was in school, my father didn\'t know what class i was studying. forget about the class, he didn\'t even know my correct age. he was so self involved with himself. when i said introvert, i meant it. now, all of a sudden, his age caught up with him, he feels lonely, so i am supposed take all his blabbering? i do respect him for his knowledge and wisdom. but can\'t tolerate his boring conversations.

[EroXenoS]

Milady, I don\'t think there\'s much you can do about your
father talking too much without really going and doing what
he does best - talking. Why don\'t you try sitting around
with him for, say an hour or so, and telling him what you
feel about his excessive talking and all....personally
though, I feel that every son/daughter does think his parents talk too much after a certain age, and the
tolerance levels decrease on our part in the same way...I
believe this is because we have our own goals, convictions,
and dreams to pursue and we feel a lot exasperated when our
parents try to (a) impose their own values on us (b) try to
tell us what to do without us asking them.
A little bit of amateur psycho-hotchpotch from yours truly.

[dad]

\"i always complained abt my parents until i had a child of my own who started complaining abt his parents\"

[Mirror]

U r right dad, and dear daughter all dad\'s are not like your dad\'s and all daughters are not like you., so try to become mother of your father..hopefully you will understand how much pain your parents went thru to brought you up..

[Hyderabadi]

It is disconcerting to find people with little (means ZERO) patience these days. It is also important to remember that, in the future, our kids will treat us just as we treat our parents today. My wife too had a dad who used to talk a lot. I never recall her saying anything but comforting him and now, since she is away from her parents, she only wishes she had more time to spend with him (since he was sick and has passed away). Pardon me, but some things in the prsent look disgusting at times but, in retrospect there may be nothing but regret and remorse. Enjoy the moments with parents, because they give a lot to their kids. There is little we can do to repay the sacrifices they make. My father too never remembered the class I was in or my age. But he took great care of me. He too talks a lot. I hope I will never complain !!

[Srinu]

i think people start to talk a lot as they get older. maybe when u r that old, u got less to do..or whatever. and sometimes it does get on ur nerves. faheems example is a good one... the moral is not that u got feel happy if ur dad asks you the same question 100 times... the moral is that u got to be patient with him like he was with you all these years. a few impatient actions of his dont cloud the years of love he showered on you. even if ur 50 for ur parents u r still a naive kid. so they still try to advice u. i am not the ideal son myself.. lose my patience with my parents a lot. but imagine how ur world would be without them..

[vivek of themavericks]

20 years from now, we might find a board which would be titled \" My Mom talks too much\" and that would be your daughter. What would you do then, i feel this is an issue that is best solved by you. Don\'t make it a matter of a kind that gets published in Femina, womens era. Control.

[ha ha ha]

to my knowledge young women talk more than old people do. i guess everyone will agree. there is this word \"ammalakka\" what is the equivalent term for males......