Nurture The Nurturer

[nurturing the nurturer :)]

It\'s a good thing Carrie was born on a Sunday, or her daddy might have missed the whole thing. The year Carrie arrived, Terry was working full-time, plus starting his own business on the side. He allowed himself one day off a week. That\'s it. The other six days, he worked every waking hour, and many of the ones when he should have been sleeping.

Was he a workaholic because he was supporting his stay-at-home wife?

Nope. I was working full-time, too. And because he was sleeping when I was working, we never saw each other. Literally.

I take that back. We had a standing date for lunch on Wednesdays. We met at a little café near my office, 1-2 p.m. Then he had to run.

Two years of this ridiculous lifestyle brought us nothing but a failed business and an almost failed marriage. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. Absence makes the heart grow resentful.

Many couples who have had to deal with love on tight schedules know what I\'m talking about. A great relief settled on the Gochnauer household once Terry dropped the second job. And when I came home two years later, our marriage really started to grow.

That\'s because we were finally able to spend lots of time together. It didn’t matter what shift Terry worked, because when he was off, I was off.

We hear a lot about how having a stay-at-home mom benefits kids. I\'m here to tell you - having a stay-at-home wife benefits a husband, too.

But what if we\'re working opposite shifts so our children are never in daycare?

Be careful. Sometimes we get in trouble by focusing too much on the kids and not enough on Mom and Dad. It\'s crucial that we cultivate the relationship that\'s holding this family together, treating it with as much respect as the mother and child bond.

Whatever schedule you and your husband are on, build in lots of quality AND quantity time for the two of you alone. A peck on the cheek as the baby is passed from one parent to the other isn\'t going to cut it.

Each husband and wife needs to feel as loved as the children they\'re nurturing. Try to find the balance that will allow all members of your family to blossom, as everyone receives the affection and attention they need.