immature colleague

[someone]

well, don't know how to start !



I m a married ( happily) working woman. In my office i worked as mentor for some freshly joined people to give training on what we were doing. Everything went well and was fine until last few days, when one of the engineers said he has feelings for me. I told him this is absurd and talked with him. i told him clearly forgot abt these things otherwise i will stop talking to him. He promised me he'll change. The very next day he said i cannot stop ...and i have high regards for you don't take it otherwise. I said this is immature and u still think u r in college, he told me that whatever u want you can think but i cannot stop and u should think it as childish behaviour but as i am a child i cannot stop atleast imagining things ...and don't take it seriously.



After all these we are having normal conversations but in between he'll say something which is meant only for me, i can understand but don't know how to react. I don't want any problem in my life. Also i m not feeling comfortable ...we all are in same team and have to work with each other. I know he is behaving very immaturely but how to handle the problem? Should i stop taking to him completely or some other way is there ...

[betty]

That is indeed a sticky situation.....

From my experience I have understood that the only way to ward off unwanted sentiments is to ignore the person and/or stop talking to him/her altogether.

This is pretty harsh, but I have come to understand that most people, esp guys, take good behaviour as a sign that you are interested....in short, he looks for 'signs' to prove that you have inclination towards him and one of these signs is that you are being polite to him.



I have realized that girls and guys behave in different ways when they are interested in someone - girls try to hide it and guys try to give as many hints as possible. So, a guy thinks that if you are talking to him, you are actually giving him hints that you are interested. Contrarily, if a girl sees that a guy has stopped talking to him after knowing that she has a crush on him, she feels that it means that the guy is slightly interested and so is trying to control himself and hide it from her.



So, in my opinion, when explanations and clarifications fail, the only option left is to stop talking to the guy.

[CtrlAltDel]

u need not stop talking to him...just become very formal and cold.



...and ignore him whenever he passes yr seat or tries to attract yr attn.

[spamtaneous]

try kicking on the groin..

[Akshay]

Is "I have feelings for you" even a socially acceptable statement? Even if you like the person what would/should be your impression about him/her after he/she comes out with that line?

[Sandeep Ch]

its the same old tricks for luring the lady , to be sure you show him the way out of the nasty teenage or else you can show him how to respect a colleague , thats enough for that kid ,



situations go out of hand if you dont control things initially



Let us know the fate of the kid

[someone]

well i m doing the same thing as betty and CAD said, but stop talking altogether is not possible so i m ignoring him and talking to the point.he is feeling very comfortable and just trying to get my attention ...lets see if he can understand otherwise i'll try what spam said ( last option though!!!!), let u all know whats happening ( hope nothing happens and things get settled ...)..thanks ....take care...

[CtrlAltDel]

follow spammy's idea only if he gets physical!



if yr company has rules/guidelines/policies regarding such behaviour (usually grouped under "Workplace Sexual Harrassment"), draw his attn to those rules and warn him of the consequenses. tell him pointblank that you wud be compelled to have a word with his superior.



remember that u cant prevent him from having "feelings" for u. u can only discourage him from expressing it the way he has been doing...

[someone]

Hi CAD,



otherwise he is a nice person and i know he respects me also so i don't think he'll ever try to get physical...also he is not sexually harrasing me ..no way ...just u know ...just giving some hints so that i feel pity on him or feel bad or something like that ...as betty said ...

Anyway things are better now and luckily he got shifted temporarily for two weeks, (yesterday) to another group so less interaction and less problem...



yestereday i read my corporate policy for sexual harassment, i was thinking may be its not there but it is ...its good to know things ...thanks ...take care

[KK]

its the same old tricks for luring the lady , to be sure you show him the way out of the nasty teenage or else you can show him how to respect a colleague , thats enough for that kid ,

situations go out of hand if you dont control things initially

Let us know the fate of the kid

You said it right. However, completely stop talking is a bad idea albiet ignoring him is good. My point is talk to him to an extent that gets you going with work but completely ignore him and his comments, otherwise.

If this still does not help, as CAD said, talk to your supervisor.



Just to make sure you dont bump into such punk stupid silly romeos in the first place, its always good idea to introduce your hubby to your working group once in a while through company events & parties.

[someone]

Just to make sure you dont bump into such punk stupid silly romeos in the first place, its always good idea to introduce your hubby to your working group once in a while through company events & parties.

KK, the problem is he is not stupid silly romeo, and he knows exactly what he is doing, that is the problem. u'll be surprised to know that there is nothing like introducing my husband. He knows him very well as we both work in the same office entirely different team. So u see his stupidity/influence of movies/ or whatever...

[vakibs]

KK, the problem is he is not stupid silly romeo, and he knows exactly what he is doing, that is the problem. u'll be surprised to know that there is nothing like introducing my husband. He knows him very well as we both work in the same office entirely different team. So u see his stupidity/influence of movies/ or whatever...

Try one of these



1) Tell him that the last night you had a dream about him and <substitute one very ugly female here> romancing with each other, and tell that they made a really good pair.



2) Tell him that he stinks/has a bald pate/is too fat/laughs like a girl (giving silly reasons will stop the overtures 'coz the moron will actually start believing them !)



3) Laugh at him loudly everytime you see him. And dont talk to him when he talks with you.



4) Point at him with your finger when you are talking with friends. That fellow will be shit scared.



5) If nothing works, use the tactic that every girl uses - tie a rakhi & also make all the girls in the office tie rakhi to him !



6) If matters go out of hand, it's an all-out-war. Use all the kinds of protection that you can get (company, husband, friends etc..)

[Desi]

Hello Someone,



I guess the new guy ur training does not know how to behave professionaly in office.Let me know that he has to behave professionaly.

If he does not change in 2 weeks, if you have authority, FIRE him!!!!.

[bharatiyudu]

U can use the girly tactics.



1. Ignore him

2. show u r anger on him whether he does the work or doesn't.

3. Discuss it with your hubby (he will definetly give good advice if he is a broad minded guy )



4. In the worst case put the matter before the higher authorities

[CtrlAltDel]

hey "someone"..what is the status now? did u take any action?

[someone]

hey "someone"..what is the status now? did u take any action?

Hi,



I tried all the things, he again came back to my group. I cannot stop talking with him so finally one nice day in lab i took his id card with thread and tied his hand with this symbolic RAKHI and gave him 21 /Rs and told him that this id card will always be with you and let you remeber who am I. He was shocked but things dramatically improved. Thank God.



All is well that ends well right ...Enjoy Pongal .,..Happy Pongal/ Sankarti to all

take care

[ROTFL HP]

Hi,

I tried all the things, he again came back to my group. I cannot stop talking with him so finally one nice day in lab i took his id card with thread and tied his hand with this symbolic RAKHI and gave him 21 /Rs and told him that this id card will always be with you and let you remeber who am I. He was shocked but things dramatically improved. Thank God.

All is well that ends well right ...Enjoy Pongal .,..Happy Pongal/ Sankarti to all
take care

That was mighty neat. And its a pleasure to be the first to congratulate you on this (I'm usually the last one to wish or congratulate people here).



And you enjoy Pongal/Sankranti too.

[CtrlAltDel]

...one nice day in lab i took his id card with thread and tied his hand with this symbolic RAKHI and gave him 21 /Rs and told him that this id card will always be with you and let you remeber who am I. He was shocked but things dramatically improved...

ROTFL!!! thats a good one!!!