Friday, 29 March 2024 »  Login
in

HELP NEEDED !!!

Friendship, love, live-in and extra-marital relationships, marriage, family - share the views of diverse people on everything that makes up life.

Moderator: The Moderator Team

HELP NEEDED !!!

by going to be hyderabadi » Tue Apr 03, 2007 12:49 pm

Hey, Im in love with a hyderabadi muslim who is settled in UAE. Now the problem is his family. Because im a hindu his family is not accepting even after knowing that im ready to embrace islam. They want a young hyderabadi girl for him. Now the thing is he is ready to marry me in UAE without his family knowing and if they force him alot,he might marry there also as he can marry 4 times accdg to the religion. So that way his family would also be happy and so wld i (supposedly) Now what i want to chk : is this something very common there??? what happens if he marries me and also someone from hyd ? what rights and authority wld i have ?? Im realy very tensed and confused as i cnat even tell me parents that im marrying the guy who might marry again ??? Wld should i do ??? But i love him very very much and so does he......HELP AWAITED !!!!
going to be hyderabadi
Registered User
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2007 12:14 pm

Don't agree for Marriage in UAE without his parent's consent

by MARKR » Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:42 pm

..lady..you seem to be intelligent....c'mon..you kiddin...you can see you are getting into a trap...lemme give you a bit of advice...the intensity of love & romance changes after marriage..it isn't the same...at present your main goal is to be with him,emotionally & physically(accept it). Once you get married..these goals are attained..you would now crave for attention, security and respect..it will happen...you yourself can see there is a threat to it..your in-laws opposition..alien country..the emotions/pain of your parents, friends and relatives all at stake..it would have been different if he was in india..in UAE..don't go for it..and don't ever agree for him marrying a second wife...you already diggin a coffin for you lady...you are drunk with his love and fantasies..its not bad...but lady...you becoming too drunk to see where u r going...get sane....sit with your friend and use some logic...else you would be in trouble....its painful to break...but it'd be more painful if you enter in the situation that you can never get out...or pay a heavy price.....my final take on this...don't marry..if he is in UAE without his parent's consent..get him here..get his parents agree...else forget it...easier said than done..but you got a choice than these two options lady??
MARKR
Registered User
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:33 am

by going to be hyderabadi » Wed Apr 04, 2007 11:05 am

Hey MARKR,



Thank u dude for your msg. But i guess i didnt put it correct. We both are in UAE and his mom is in HYD. Its not confirm that he wld marry someone else but just a thot incase his mom doesnt agree. She has met me and thinks im too fast coz im from bombay. Im not the typical hydrabadi girl who sits quite with the head scarf and say yes to what ever she said. I use to go and meet her when she was in dubai and thot i wont fit ito their culture. He said that he shall try his best to convince mom......Do u think i didnt think abt the circumstances ?? I dont know whats gonna happen tmmrw. Maybe if i leave him and marry someone from my community,wld i be happy ?? what if that guy turns out to be the wrong one >> i shall be guilty for the rest of my life....Am i wrong in thinking this ???? I am SO THOROUGHLY CONFUSED> I WANT TO LOVE WITH HIM ALSO BUT DONT KNOW.I have said yes to marry him...........Pls pls think of an alternative and let me know pls pls pls....or maybe u cld mail me on fuanduy@yahoo.com ..... Thank you once again for writing............
going to be hyderabadi
Registered User
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2007 12:14 pm

Re:

by Karmic » Sun Apr 22, 2007 12:54 pm

Hey lady,

Hope you are healthy physically and mentally.Health is first priority to all other things in ur life.This needs to be strong both physically and mentally.

As per your mail, i am also posting some suggestions if they could get you get of this trouble.

Like you said you are ready to face him if he marries more than a single girl.I think that is going to be indigestable thing after few months when things will come in between where you have to do something for her at some point of time.It is irrespective of any emotions and feeling whether ur guy likes her or not.

Thing is your upbringing is done in other religion's rituals, you think other way.Have you confirmed your parents have no problem..it might be the case they are hiding their emotions on the cost of your happiness.This might be short term also..after going for some little period may be you two lead a normallife like any other married couple..better get advice from ur parents..they r closet who understand you more than any other person in ur life..

if you both dont have any problem then you guys can live out urself also.But tht has biggest limitation as neither you nor him can forget his parents for life time if any side of parents gets annoyed at this decision of urs.

It's all how you approach towards problem...solutions can be as many as u think...think of balanced act.



Good luck

Harman
Nobody dies virgin...life _ all!
User avatar
Karmic
Registered User
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2005 3:17 pm
Location: Hyderabad

by Whatever » Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:25 pm

My advice to You Is DONT!!!



I Wouldn't!! If i even Love him to death



I just can't share my man with any other women!!



Guys Are Real Jerks....Never Never Trust Them!!
~*Hau Bole To Nakko Bol Te...Nakko Bole to Hau Bol te....Ya Hyderabadiyon Ki khaas Addat Jo Karo Bole so Nai Kartee*~
User avatar
Whatever
Registered User
 
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon May 17, 2004 10:40 am
Location: Chicago, Usa

Re:

by karmic » Tue Apr 24, 2007 9:45 am

Whatever wrote:My advice to You Is DONT!!!

I Wouldn't!! If i even Love him to death

I just can't share my man with any other women!!

Guys Are Real Jerks....Never Never Trust Them!!




Hey girlie,

Don't tell her if you are saying from your experience.It is life,not all are same and not everything looking same will be same.

It is not an easy decision to decide for life....



Good luck.
Nobody dies virgin...life _ all!
User avatar
karmic
Registered User
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2005 3:17 pm
Location: Hyderabad

by Whatever » Tue Apr 24, 2007 8:25 pm

Hey girlie,
Don't tell her if you are saying from your experience.It is life,not all are same and not everything looking same will be same.
It is not an easy decision to decide for life....




What makes you think that I have expereinced something like that....If my thoughts are negative towards are topic. that doesn't mean i am speaking from my experince....



and ofcourse its not an easy decision to decied for life but you have to decied something..why keep yourself in so much confusion when you know the answer of your result.. just think abot your best.. why even need someone's advice when you still be doing what you think is best for you!!





Btw I don't Want to expereince anything like that ever in my Life!! I rather marry someone from my religion then hoping for someone to convert in order for me to get married.
~*Hau Bole To Nakko Bol Te...Nakko Bole to Hau Bol te....Ya Hyderabadiyon Ki khaas Addat Jo Karo Bole so Nai Kartee*~
User avatar
Whatever
Registered User
 
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon May 17, 2004 10:40 am
Location: Chicago, Usa

by Bimbette » Thu Apr 26, 2007 12:06 pm

My take? Marrying someone with the possibility that he will marry again because his religion permits it is nothing short of suicide! DON'T do it.



Maybe it'll take you long to heal (if you break up with him) but that's better than you spending a lifetime of sorrow with this man (and his other wife/wives).



That bit on you getting hitched to the wrong guy (in the future) is a figment of your imagination. There are some wonderful people out there and you need to be positive about your future choice.



Also, please don't cause your parents heartache by concealing facts / rebelliously going against them. Tomorrow if your guy succumbs to his parent's pressure, you'll be left in the cold. If you choose this guy over your family, it's going to be a rough ride ahead.



Agreed, marriage is about compromises but it should not be one-sided.



Good Luck.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right.
Bimbette
Registered User
 
Posts: 485
Joined: Sat Jul 06, 2002 7:31 pm
Location: On one side of the Hussain Sagar!!

hey

by Niveditha » Thu Apr 26, 2007 11:08 pm

when you are confused it only means your mind and heart are not in unison. when they are not in unison it means its DANGER. Just let time tell how you meet. there will be many you come across and some who will make your heart fllip... but it is only one who will warm it and make it happy. take care. you know ...destiny ...it takes you exactly where you have to and usually destiny is made by human being and blamed on god if bad, barked upon as achievement if good. just be happy and take care
Niveditha
Registered User
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Nov 15, 2000 8:46 am

hi

by rama krishna » Thu Jul 12, 2007 7:07 pm

i earn 8,000/- per month still i help the needy persons. I also donated my blood for four times in Chiranjeevi Charitable Trust and I pledged to donate my eyes after my demise
User avatar
rama krishna
Level 1 Star User
Level 1 Star User
 
Posts: 593
Joined: Fri May 30, 2003 1:55 pm

Re: hi

by Biriyani_Chai » Fri Aug 17, 2007 1:54 pm

rama krishna wrote:i earn 8,000/- per month still i help the needy persons. I also donated my blood for four times in Chiranjeevi Charitable Trust and I pledged to donate my eyes after my demise




WTF is the above reply doing in this post??? :evil:



Apna dabba bajane ko yehi jagah mili kya???
Di muazzin ne azaan, shab-e-wasl, pichli shab,
haay kambakht ko bhi kis waqt khuda yaad aagaya!
User avatar
Biriyani_Chai
Registered User
 
Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2003 6:10 pm
Location: Hyderabad

by Arch » Fri Aug 17, 2007 7:44 pm

Bimbette wrote:My take? Marrying someone with the possibility that he will marry again because his religion permits it is nothing short of suicide! DON'T do it.

Maybe it'll take you long to heal (if you break up with him) but that's better than you spending a lifetime of sorrow with this man (and his other wife/wives).

That bit on you getting hitched to the wrong guy (in the future) is a figment of your imagination. There are some wonderful people out there and you need to be positive about your future choice.

Also, please don't cause your parents heartache by concealing facts / rebelliously going against them. Tomorrow if your guy succumbs to his parent's pressure, you'll be left in the cold. If you choose this guy over your family, it's going to be a rough ride ahead.

Agreed, marriage is about compromises but it should not be one-sided.

Good Luck.




such a smart answer Bimbette :) with head right on the shoulders :) right on. kudos to you.
Arch
Level 1 Star User
Level 1 Star User
 
Posts: 862
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2003 7:05 am

very well...

by shakes » Sat Aug 18, 2007 5:47 pm

One thing I'd like to correct here that Islam doesn't gives permission for 4 marriages to every1. They are many conditions few illetrate Muslims propogate this just for themselves... few of them I'd like to post here I hope you guys dont mind.



1, If women is physically or mentally unfit for a married life.

2, If she died & husband is not so old (And if husband wants to marry then it is permissible otherwise its not an order by Islamic Law)

3, If she wants to separate herself from Husband by her own will.

4, If women is not able to be a mother.



and many more things are there but I think its enough for today, I dont wanna bother you... :)
shakes
Registered User
 
Posts: 70
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 11:10 am

Reply (going to be hyderabadi )

by Abdul mujeeb » Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:34 pm

hi freinds,



here some advice may be help for the person who wanna to be marry some one otherthen his/she religion.



as our bro shaikes said that there is some conditions if he marrying more then one(wife).



in our holy Quran ALLAH SW said that if u cannot do justice between them

then it is better for u to have only one (wife). (NOTE : I HOPE NO MUSLIM WLL GO AGAINST THIS STATEMENT IF HE DO THEN HE IS NOT A RIGHT PERSON)



i wanna tell u (who ever u r) let him remind n ask him about such situation in our holy book's n let those statement put in front of his mother INSHALLAH i hope that she wll agree to marry his son with you.



you are embracing ISLAM for that iam congrates u but when do u agree with ur heart just for getting him if ur accepting then its not a gud marry becoz what ever faith in ur heart ALLAH c that only according to that he wll reward you (INSHALLAH when u embrace) there is no restriction above the people weather they choose watever religion or partner.



for us muslims it is permissible to marry christian becoz they known book of ALLAH (Gospel n engel) even we have to try for revert them but not by force its their wish for totally unknown religion like hindu, jains etc etc... becoz if any one pray beside ALLAH its not permissible ( NOTE: when u do this then ur committing sin according to hindu books also there is one GOD none other, i wll give u one statement for that u can referred)



The most popular amongst all the Hindu scriptures is the Bhagavad Gita.

Consider the following verse from the Gita:

"Those whose intelligence has been stolen by material desires surrender unto demigods and follow the particular rules and regulations of worship according to their own natures."
[Bhagavad Gita 7:20]

The Gita states that people who are materialistic worship demigods i.e. ‘gods’ besides the True God.



The following verses from the Upanishads refer to the Concept of God:

"Ekam evadvitiyam"
"He is One only without a second."
[Chandogya Upanishad 6:2:1]1

"Na casya kascij janita na cadhipah."
"Of Him there are neither parents nor lord."
[Svetasvatara Upanishad 6:9]2

"Na tasya pratima asti"
"There is no likeness of Him."
[Svetasvatara Upanishad 4:19]3

The following verses from the Upanishad allude to the inability of man to imagine God in a particular form:

"Na samdrse tisthati rupam asya, na caksusa pasyati kas canainam."

"His form is not to be seen; no one sees Him with the eye."
[Svetasvatara Upanishad 4:20]4



now come to the point IF he also love u n agree to marry u then he should convence his mother according to holy books statement when his mother get agree then she wll also get reward from ALLAH SW many people get marry such type of situation without telling their parents after marriage their parents agree too but iam not suggesting you to do the same its better to convence his mother, becoz our ALLAH SW tell us be kind to your parents, for ALLAH sake we dont dis-obey our parents. I am not telling that u people r not obey to your parents u to kind to your parents.



i think for now i gave enough openion to you even if u have doubt then iam here to most welcome you to ask or need help



thanx if you have any comments u can reply me.
User avatar
Abdul mujeeb
Registered User
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2007 12:13 pm

Reply (going to be hyderabadi )

by Abdul mujeeb » Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:41 pm

hi freinds,



here some advice may be help for the person who wanna to be marry some one otherthen his/she religion.



as our bro shaikes said that there is some conditions if he marrying more then one(wife).



in our holy Quran ALLAH SW said that if u cannot do justice between them

then it is better for u to have only one (wife). (NOTE : I HOPE NO MUSLIM WLL GO AGAINST THIS STATEMENT IF HE DO THEN HE IS NOT A RIGHT PERSON)



i wanna tell u (who ever u r) let him remind n ask him about such situation in our holy book's n let those statement put in front of his mother INSHALLAH i hope that she wll agree to marry his son with you.



you are embracing ISLAM for that iam congrates u but when do u agree with ur heart just for getting him if ur accepting then its not a gud marry becoz what ever faith in ur heart ALLAH c that only according to that he wll reward you (INSHALLAH when u embrace) there is no restriction above the people weather they choose watever religion or partner.



for us muslims it is permissible to marry christian becoz they known book of ALLAH (Gospel n engel) even we have to try for revert them but not by force its their wish for totally unknown religion like hindu, jains etc etc... becoz if any one pray beside ALLAH its not permissible ( NOTE: when u do this then ur committing sin according to hindu books also there is one GOD none other, i wll give u one statement for that u can referred)



The most popular amongst all the Hindu scriptures is the Bhagavad Gita.

Consider the following verse from the Gita:

"Those whose intelligence has been stolen by material desires surrender unto demigods and follow the particular rules and regulations of worship according to their own natures."
[Bhagavad Gita 7:20]

The Gita states that people who are materialistic worship demigods i.e. ‘gods’ besides the True God.



The following verses from the Upanishads refer to the Concept of God:

"Ekam evadvitiyam"
"He is One only without a second."
[Chandogya Upanishad 6:2:1]1

"Na casya kascij janita na cadhipah."
"Of Him there are neither parents nor lord."
[Svetasvatara Upanishad 6:9]2

"Na tasya pratima asti"
"There is no likeness of Him."
[Svetasvatara Upanishad 4:19]3

The following verses from the Upanishad allude to the inability of man to imagine God in a particular form:

"Na samdrse tisthati rupam asya, na caksusa pasyati kas canainam."

"His form is not to be seen; no one sees Him with the eye."
[Svetasvatara Upanishad 4:20]4



now come to the point IF he also love u n agree to marry u then he should convence his mother according to holy books statement when his mother get agree then she wll also get reward from ALLAH SW many people get marry such type of situation without telling their parents after marriage their parents agree too but iam not suggesting you to do the same its better to convence his mother, becoz our ALLAH SW tell us be kind to your parents, for ALLAH sake we dont dis-obey our parents. I am not telling that u people r not obey to your parents u to kind to your parents. (EVEN IF ANY PERSON REVERT FROM ANY RELIGION TO ISLAM HE/SHE SHOULD OBEY HIS PARENTS EXCEPT TO WORSHIP BESIDE ALLAH SW)



i think for now i gave enough openion to you even if u have doubt then iam here to most welcome you to ask or need help



thanx if you have any comments u can reply me.
User avatar
Abdul mujeeb
Registered User
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2007 12:13 pm

FOR WHATEVER

by Abdul mujeeb » Wed Aug 29, 2007 3:51 pm

As my friend whatever said she dont wanna share his huband with any other women, i wana ask her if her husband keep some secret relationship with any other women wll she agree to keep that.



i hope she wll not agree due to such illegal relationship with anyother women ALLAH SW give us permit to marry more then one which is legal.



and also i wanna ask her if womens more then men quantity which is in US and also other parts of the world where should they go they have 2 choices weather illegal relation to satisfied themself or to marry a married person now choice is ur which is good for them.



i hope that she wll understand the situation iam not suppose to say that do more then one (if u have guts to make justice between them equal then for that otherwise live with one only)



i apologize if i hurt any one its only discussion and openions according to our situations.
User avatar
Abdul mujeeb
Registered User
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2007 12:13 pm



Return to Human Relationships

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 17 guests

cron
ADVERTISEMENT
SHOUTBOX!
{{todo.name}}
{{todo.date}}
[
]
{{ todo.summary }}... expand »
{{ todo.text }} « collapse
First  |  Prev  |   1   2  3  {{current_page-1}}  {{current_page}}  {{current_page+1}}  {{last_page-2}}  {{last_page-1}}  {{last_page}}   |  Next  |  Last
{{todos[0].name}}

{{todos[0].text}}

ADVERTISEMENT
This page was tagged for
site:forums.fullhyderabad.com hindu muslim marriage in hyderabad
Follow fullhyd.com on
Copyright © 2023 LRR Technologies (Hyderabad) Pvt Ltd. All rights reserved. fullhyd and fullhyderabad are registered trademarks of LRR Technologies (Hyderabad) Pvt Ltd. The textual, graphic, audio and audiovisual material in this site is protected by copyright law. You may not copy, distribute or use this material except as necessary for your personal, non-commercial use. Any trademarks are the properties of their respective owners.