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by Happy Hyderabadi » Fri Apr 23, 2004 6:43 pm

Build Happy Earth Links!



Wonderful WEEK!



Magnificent MONDAY

Terrific TUESDAY

Wonderful WEDNESDAY

Thrilling THURSDAY

Fine FRIDAY

Special SATURDAY

Happy SUNDAY!



Warm Regards, Fellow FullHyd Members!



:D :!: :idea: :arrow:
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Full Life!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Sat Apr 24, 2004 9:32 am

(St)Ages of Life!

0 - “Zero” Going on “Hero(ine)” - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

1 - 12: HAPPY CHILD YEARS!

13 - 19: THRILLING TEENS!

20 - 29: TERRIFIC TWENTIES!

30 - 39: TRIUMPHANT THIRTIES!

40 - 49: FORCEFUL FORTIES!

50 - 59: FINE FIFTIES!

60 - 69: SUPER SIXTIES!

70 - 79: SPECIAL SEVENTIES!

80 - 89: ENJOYABLE EIGHTIES!

90 - 99: NICE NIETIES!

100: HAPPY HUNDRED - SUPER HERO!!!

Hip - Hip - Hurrah!

Wishing "Full Life" to ALL FullHyd Members!



:D :!: :arrow:
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Wonderful WEEK (2.0)!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:14 am

Wonderful WEEK !



Magnificent MONDAY

Terrific TUESDAY

Wonderful WEDNESDAY

Thrilling THURSDAY

Fabulous FRIDAY

Scintillating SATURDAY

Sensational SUNDAY



Once Again, FH Members, Have Wonderful Times!



:) :D :lol: :!: :idea: :arrow:
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Re: Wonderful WEEK (2.0)!

by azazel » Mon Apr 26, 2004 12:09 am

Happy Hyderabadi wrote:Once Again, FH Members, Have Wonderful Times!




thank you, sir :!:
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Re: Full Life!

by CtrlAltDel » Mon Apr 26, 2004 9:53 am

Happy Hyderabadi wrote: (St)Ages of Life!
some more stages of life:



Tri weekly

Try weekly

Try weakly

Try Mighty Forte

Try Anything

Try to remember



:lol: :lol: :wink: :wink: :lol: :lol:
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TriUMPH ... HISTry ... Re: Full Life!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Mon Apr 26, 2004 10:46 am

CtrlAltDel wrote:
Happy Hyderabadi wrote: (St)Ages of Life!
some more stages of life: ...


:lol: :lol: :wink: :wink: :lol: :lol:




Version 2 CAD:

TriUMPH ... HISTry: " Start Hot ... End Cold / SUMmer ... WINter"



:?: :oops: :arrow:
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Press Sense: Rocks Restored to Past Glory!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:11 am

Press Sense: Rocks Restored to Past Glory!

Today's NIE Reports, p 1:

The Rocks of Rohtang Pass of the Snowy Himalayas have been restored. The Rocks spoilt by Advertisement of Coke, Pepsi, MBD Books, among others, have been alost "healed" ... coats of paints in garish colours overran these mountain sides.

* Some of the damage to these ecosystems - the moss and micro organisms dating back to 45 million years - was irreparable but experts have salvaged whatever they could.

* Today 90 pc of the Restoration Work is complete.

* Congratulations to the Three Member Team entrusted with the Task! In Two Seasons, they have cleaned up nearly 1,000 big and small rocks, spending just 30 pc of the Total Money that was collected as fine (imposed by the Supreme Court on the "Rock Rapist" Companies). The rest will be spent on Conservation Work in the area that is starved of funds.

8) :idea: :arrow:
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by azazel » Mon Apr 26, 2004 1:56 pm

the ppl from Society to Save the Rocks would be happy to hear that :!:
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Traffic in Hyderabad of India ... My "God"!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Mon Apr 26, 2004 9:07 pm

Traffic in Hyderabad of India ... My "God"!



Thank You:

H C SHANKAR <fortune500@roltanet.com>





This hilarious article was written by a Dutchman who spent two years in Hyderabad, India, as a visiting expert. A little long article but worth reading it!!!



Driving in India



For the benefit of every Tom, _ and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.



Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied.In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.



Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation, the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road.You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.



Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.



Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.



Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking coloredlights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty,

often meeting with success.



Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.



Mopeds:The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.



Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three

passengers.



One-way Street:These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.



Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Ghenghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.



Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.



Of course, all this occurs at night,on the trunk roads.



During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers will never show any Signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals; they are the greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the cleaner who sits next to the driver, will project his hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely not to be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is

just an statement of physical relief on a hot day. If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons between 8 pm and 11 am – when the police have gone home and - The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in the constitution.

Having said all this, isn't it true that the accident rate and related deaths are less in India

compared to US or other countries!!??



Cheers.



(We Indians, especially Hyderabadis, are ALL Theists … God believing … Happy to see us in our Earthly Home Every Passing Day & Night … Heavenly Abode Can Wait …!)



8) :) :D :lol: :!: :?: :idea: :arrow:
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Re: Traffic in Hyderabad of India ... My "God"!

by CtrlAltDel » Mon Apr 26, 2004 9:10 pm

Happy Hyderabadi wrote: Traffic in Hyderabad of India ... My "God"!
:roll: not again...i posted this coupla months ago...
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From Chennai With Love ... To Newton!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Mon Apr 26, 2004 9:22 pm

From Chennai With Love ... To Newton!

Thank You:

H C SHANKAR <fortune500@roltanet.com>



Recently NEWTON, made a visit to earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.



In the movie starring Rajnikant Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.



Here are a few scenes:



1) Rajnikant has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears, taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajnikant.



2) In one of the movies, Rajni is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajni has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess what he does... He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into two pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife

kills the middle one.



3) Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajni has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imagination. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.

Bang... And the gangster dies....



This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics.



The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops not so fast. The climax finally arrives. Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajni can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajni has to kill the villain because it's the climax. Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible. Rajni suddenly pulls out two guns from his pocket (probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun.

Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead.



Newton gives up … his Laws / Life?!







:roll: :x :!: :?: :wink: :arrow:
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Re: From Chennai With Love ... To Newton!

by CtrlAltDel » Mon Apr 26, 2004 9:26 pm

Happy Hyderabadi wrote: From Chennai With Love ... To Newton! ....
:lol: :lol: :lol: good one :lol: :lol: :lol:
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by azazel » Mon Apr 26, 2004 11:53 pm

thats hilarious :lol:

read that a loooooong time back but Rajni saaaar ROX :!:
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Win Dog ... Dog Lose!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Tue Apr 27, 2004 7:24 pm

Win Dog ... Dog Lose!



THE STORY OF FIDO



There was once a dog –Fido. Fido was very hungry . As he walked down one day he saw a bone on the other side of a fence.



He tried jumping over the fence and failed.



He tried digging under the fence and failed.



Finally in desperation he started walking Right and found a way across to the bone by chance.



A happy Fido devours the bone.



THE NEXT DAY



Fido walks Right the same road and sees another bone at the same spot.



What will Fido do?



Yes !! Fido will take the same route.



Was there any other way to get the bone ?



Yes the simpler route is… Walking to the Left ..



Will Fido ever look for this shorter simpler route?



Never!! Why?



Because Fido has tasted success.



Therefore we learn… SUCCESS KILLS CREATIVITY!







8) :!: :?: :arrow:
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by azazel » Wed Apr 28, 2004 4:01 am

good one HH sir..

cant agree on the "Success kills creativity" aspect tho..

mebbe the drive comes down a notch.. but not completely
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Re: Win Dog ... Dog Lose!

by Johnny » Wed Apr 28, 2004 4:08 am

Happy Hyderabadi wrote:
Yes the simpler route is… Walking to the Left ..

Will Fido ever look for this shorter simpler route?

Never!! Why?

Thats Cuz FIDO is a DOG. :lol:
Because Fido has tasted success.

Therefore we learn… SUCCESS KILLS CREATIVITY!

8) :!: :?: :arrow:


So, One cant generalize dat for HUMANS. :)
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C A D Calling!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Wed Apr 28, 2004 9:24 am

C A D Calling!



“C A D” Man!*



The “Ctrl+Alt+Del” Key Combination Inventor is David Bradley, an Extraordinary IBM Employee. Bradley spent just one minute and 23 seconds in writing the source code. He retired last week after serving IBM for 29 years. His formula, designed in 1980, forces obstinate computers to restart when they no longer follow other commands. His “CAD” trick helps the User to restart the Computer when it fails to respond



Bradley says, “ I did a lot of other things than Ctrl-Alt-Del, but I am famous for that one. He adds, “I may have invented it, but Bill Gates made it famous by applying my formula whenever any Microsoft’s Windows operating system made by him CRASHES. Thus, I win whenever he loses.”

----------------

Our “C A D” too wins … DD Today and “Delights” his Readers, the FH Members!

----------------

* Courtesy: “Express Vibes”, p 7, NIE dt 28 Apr 2004





8) :) :D :lol: :!: :arrow: :idea:
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Re: C A D Calling!

by CtrlAltDel » Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:31 am

Happy Hyderabadi wrote: C A D Calling!
:D cool! i never knew my ID had such a glorious history!

Happy Hyderabadi wrote:Our “C A D” too wins … DD Today and “Delights” his Readers, the FH Members!
thanX, Again...
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Happy Dosa Time!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Wed Apr 28, 2004 11:46 am

Happy Dosa Time!

The wife is busy making Dosas on the Tawa, when her husband comes home. He walks into the kitchen and immediately starts yelling: "CAREFUL !!! CAREFUL !!!LESS OIL !!!TURN IT !!!TURN IT AGAIN !!!NOW LITTLE MORE OIL!!! DOSA'S GOING TO STICK !!! CAREFUL !!! CAREFUL !!!TURN IT !!! TURN IT!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! LESS OIL, LESS OIL !!! USE LADLE !!! THE LADLE!!!!"

The wife is very upset: "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to make a Dosa?"

The husband calmly replies: "This is to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving and you sit next to me..."



8) :wink: :) :D :idea: :arrow:
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by azazel » Wed Apr 28, 2004 1:26 pm

:lol:

backseat-drivers r extremely annoying :x
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eSmile Please, We're "iSmile"ys!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Wed Apr 28, 2004 1:30 pm

eSmile Please, We're "iSmile"ys!



Old Man ...

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?"

"Twenty-six," he said.



Smile!



- Smile costs nothing, but creates much Happiness.

- Smile enriches those who receive without impoverishing those who give.

- Smile happens in a flash, and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

- None are so rich they can get along without Smile, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.

- Smile creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in a business, and

nature? It is the best antidote for trouble.



Yet Smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen for it is something that is no good or useful to anyone until it is given away.



And if in the course of the day some of your friends should be too tired to give you a Smile, why dont you give them one of yours?



For nobody needs a Smile so much as those who have none left to give!



1. Instead of worrying and having a wrinkle on your face, why don’t you Smile and have a Dimple on your face?



2. Your dress is never complete unless You wear a Smile on you face.



3. Smile! It increases your face value!!



8) :!: :idea: :arrow:
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by azazel » Wed Apr 28, 2004 1:45 pm

:)
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UN Survey ... With Love from USA!

by Happy Hyderabadi » Wed Apr 28, 2004 6:42 pm

UN Survey ... With "Love" from USA!




Thank You:

srinivasanv [vishsri@bhelhyd.co.in]



UN Survey



Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion

about solutions to the foodshortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure...



In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.

In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.

In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.

In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.

In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.

And in the US they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

_______







8) :wink: :roll: :) :D :cry: :lol: :arrow:
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by Jasz » Wed Apr 28, 2004 8:14 pm

:D :D :D :D
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Mahrashtrians are Simple but Great! ... Hyderabadis ...

by Happy Hyderabadi » Wed Apr 28, 2004 8:55 pm

Mahrashtrians are Simple but Great! ... Hyderabadis are "Kamaldars"!




Maharashtrians are Simply Great ... Their Food is Nutritious and Tasty, nearer to the Natural State than other Indian Varieties! They have Special Names to denote or honour People. For eg an MLA is called "Namdar", an MP is called "Khasdar", a Moneyed Person may be "Maldar" ... Hindus on Departure to their Heavenly Abode may be honourably remembered as "Kai (for 'Kailas Vaasi') Soenso" or "Vai (for 'Vaikuntha Vasi') Soandso" .... Late Muslims may be recalled by the Prefix "Pai (for 'Paigasmbar Vasi') Phalana".

Hyderabadis, are they as varied ... They are distinguished as "Kamaldars" ... They work "Kamal" or Wonders, wherever they go ... They are Happy and spread Happiness all over the World!



8) :wink: :) :D :lol: :!: :idea: :arrow:
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