by Anil » Sat Aug 17, 2002 10:03 am
This is indeed a very good topic. Apparently it looks like a feud between the Mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. But, actually it’s not. As a matter of fact every part in the family is involved. To be more precise, it’s a very big social problem. We can summarize this whole problem in one word, “Social security”. People who are exposed to this term in US can take some precedence from this word, but actually, the social security in US serves more than the problem we are discussing here. The solution to this problem cannot be given in a couple of lines as this a very big problem and if anyone is talking about the solution, one has to take all the factors concerning this problem. First, instead of attacking the problem and trying to give a solution in a hurry, why don’t we ask ourselves few questions? When answering these questions in your mind, forget about your gender, age, your relations and the obligations attached to it. Just think yourself as a judge who is deliberating the purest form of judgment and not biased to any side. Why do you think the people in our society wish to have boy child? Why is there a bias in the love shown by the parents towards the male child than the female child? Why are the parents possessive towards the male child after his marriage and not so possessive towards the married female child? Why do you see the female child is less educated in spite of being brighter than her brother sometimes in education? Why do the parents compromise the welfare of the female child and just use them as a helping hand in the household work and nothing beyond that? Why is the girl child always fed with a thought that she doesn’t belong to the family and she has to leave the family, some day? And last but not the least, why is the boy child always taught that, he is supposed to take care of his parents? I’m sure, by now it may be clear about where am I going. Our social structure is built in this way. Boy child is the security of the parents. Parents bribe them, nurture them, brainwash them, force them and some times blackmail them to be their social security. Don’t you see that there is a great deal of injustice done towards the girl child? I don’t expect the Government to come for the rescue and provide a social security to everyone so that everyone will relieve their boy child and show a true love towards their children. I wish, no person must depend on their children for their livelihood in their older ages. I also urge the daughters-in-law, not to take advantage of having control of the social security of the old parents-in-law. It must be everyone’s responsibility to secure themselves from being dependant on their children. If the demand for this urge increases in the society, then we’ll see the society moving that way, may be in the form of some legislations or a regulated industry to look after the welfare of the old people. Balu, I tried my best to address your problem. Regards…..Anil.