Tyro wrote:...she wants to be the chosen one of a very well-equipped, smart, intelligent man.
I think that's true of men, too. Many men would like to marry successful women. To feel that they were the chosen ones.
But actually, what you say is right. Perhaps once the initial headiness comes down and you start to face everyday life, where it's clear that she gets more bhaav in society, the shit slowly starts to hit the ceiling - especially when insensitive outsiders start passing certain callous remarks now and then, intentionally or otherwise.
Or other small things, like when people start paying more attention to what she's saying in a social gathering than what he is, merely politely acknowledging his comments. Or perhaps not even seeking his opinion at times when they do hers.
The big danger, I think, happens when smarter guys than her start showing interest in her, and she starts even preening in it, forget reciprocating. For her, it is perhaps a realization of the same dream you spoke of - a smarter and more successful man than her desiring her, which is quite flattering.
She might be ethical enough to stay loyal, and perhaps even forgets about it right there, but the slightest wrong word or expression sets the alarm bells ringing off for the man, the trust is lost, she starts facing questions and snide remarks on even non-existent intentions, and the relationship starts going irreversibly downhill.
You can't help pity the man, since there is nothing he can do to turn smarter or more successful than the other suiters - God help a man whose girl/wife is being wooed by someone much more accomplished (and for those snickering, there's a smarter, better-looking and more successful man than every man ).
A girl in such a situation has to take enormous care to both (a) be loyal, and (b) demonstrate through elaborate and continuous communication and actions that she is loyal, that she doesn't care. It reminds me of Indecent Proposal. In Indecent Proposal, one of the reasons that the Demi-Woody relationship breaks down is that Demi Moore simply cannot understand how Woody's mind is working after the "night", and starts being self-respecting when his insecurities cause him to start asking questions and passing comments. Big mistake.
You could argue that all of this is true even in cases where the girl's man himself is smarter than her, and the other guy is just smarter. Sure, but the case exists even for the topic of this thread.
Even if you keep outsiders out, a smarter woman will slowly start to "accommodate" her man in situations where she knows he's being immature or stupid, with small gestures like not getting into arguments, or ending them quickly accepting defeat, simply because she thinks an argument with him gets nowhere. That hurts the man more when he slowly realizes it.
Even if the woman has great integrity, she cannot save this thing for long if she does not have complete love for her man, and communicates and acts in all the right ways. And if she does not have integrity, ah, someone is going to be blowing smoke rings very soon .
The moral of the story is, women should not be smarter than men for the greater good of the world .