Do intelligent women intimidate guys?

by **JustaLittleUnwell** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:47 am

Lady with a lamp, I\'m definitely suggesting that your original post was \'elitist\', because it implies (yes, it does) that not every other woman is intelligent but only a select few are, and that intelligence is some exclusive preserve of some elite clan. By making this suggestion, am I acting \'holier than thou\'? I guess not. I\'ve not expressed outrage at the original post, I did not ridicule it, but I questioned the premise with the help of reasoning and by giving a lot of examples to counter it. I know you are tempted to use the phrase \'holier than thou\' against me because I accused someone that way, in another thread. But the situation there was different, as that user could not stand an alternate view point and resorted to ridiculing a not-so-politically-correct view. So, no holier-than-thou for me :-)

<br>
<br>I\'m glad we are agreeing on whatever we are agreeing upon.

by **Satya** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 12:01 pm

Definetly not for me . Infact it is very important for me for the gal to be intelligent , there can only bea conversation when one respects one another and can have a intelectual conversation i dont necesaarily mean they shoudl discuss Bosnia or stuff like that just that i would feel comfortbale with a smart woman. As i belive that relationships of any kind ( freinds lovers , brothers and sisters mother and son ) though they are bulti on love they can break becuase of lack of respect for the other person and some ppl force themselves into relationships with the not so smart women to satisfy their ego and they end up hurting the poor woman and thatr is\'nt good is it atleast that si the way i feel.

by ZC » Fri Oct 31, 2003 9:39 am

At this point the question is: do u want an intelligent friend or a friend with tons of common sense ? how are the both different ?

by **Senor Raja** » Wed Jan 07, 2004 2:46 pm

Dear lady with the lamp,

Today is the first day in FULLHYD for me though I have registered longggggg time back.

I have read your extensive reasoning and the depth of the subject you have showed in your messages.

I believe in respecting any person intellectual be the person a woman or a man! As long as the success of the particular person does not get into her head, I am sure she naturally gets respected. Any trace of superiority shall be looked at in a negative perspective. I believe this holds good for a man too!

I believe that no one Individual is a master in all the aspects of LIFE!

If for instance you are more an intellectual than me, I would find ways to impress you with my freindship or love and caring. After all nothing can beat the power of freindship and love!

Would any person stand against the showers of freindship? Can you afford to neglect the warmth of freindship and the heat of love?

Well to sum of things, I think an intellectual person gets respected when he conducts himself / herself

love

Senor Raja

by **my two cents** » Sat Feb 07, 2004 1:23 am

5 pages ! whoa ... very thouchy feely ppl are abt this topic !!!

so lemme contribute moi two cents to the discussion ... which of course is also absolutely futile , i'm thinking

.

The question is , if i read it right .. Are men intimidated by smarter or more knowledgeable (did i spell tha right ?) women ?

well my theory is ... guys like dumb girls !!! why else would the dumb blonde be such a symbol ?! intimidation may not be the real problem ,unless the specimen is a specific MCP ... Men generally go for the dumber flock becoz i just guess they are easier to get , handle, suppress ...etc .

However , since the universe runs on the principle of exceptions ...i'm being realistic in believing that , there are some bright sparks out there who look for more than a body to mate with.

But more importantly ppl just run on different frequencies . so while you are out there LWL , keep your radar on ... hope you find a wavelength that matches yours .

Best of luck !

by **Lady with the Lamp** » Sat Feb 07, 2004 11:06 pm

So! This one comes up again! (Yeah my ego just got a boost, what with the odd opinion still trickling in once in a while! ) :-)

Yeah Satya, would agree. You've just got to be comforatble with the other person. The whole "intellectual" angle seems over-rated here, doesn't it?

ZC, I would have thought common-sense is an off-shoot of intelligence. Doesn't work like that?

Senor Raja, "Extensive reasoning and depth" Not at all! The thread was actually a manifestation of what I had seen and read. So the arguments just came pouring out!!!

You wrote, "If for instance you are more an intellectual than me, I would find ways to impress you with my freindship or love and caring. After all nothing can beat the power of freindship and love!

Would any person stand against the showers of freindship? Can you afford to neglect the warmth of freindship and the heat of love? "

No offence meant, but u don't need to "find ways to impress" ppl who you think are more intelligent than u through 'friendship/love/a caring nature'. Somehow the last lines of your post seem to suggest that the so called-intelligent ppl "have to be won over". I don't think it works like that buddy. You be yourself. If ppl like you for it, good. If not, (ie if they expect you to change to suit their requirement) then they should be told to take a walk! Intelligence/Non-intelligence be damned!

Oh yeah the quintessential 'dumb-blonde' model! Yeah maybe you are right. Women who fall in the 'docile, not-oozing-grey-matter'(not meant to be deragatory at all) mould probably make some men feel good about themselves.

And yes, I'm keeping my fingers crossed about meeting ppl who are on the same wavelength too!

by **Mona Lisa Smiles** » Mon Feb 09, 2004 6:43 pm

Hey Lady,

Sure your ego would get a shot in the arm out here! A very interesting thread you started here! And 5 pages at that .... i havent had the patience to read all that was said save the last few..

I am only wondering if intelligent women actually intimidate guys how long would they have to keep their fingers crossed

by **sutra** » Mon Feb 09, 2004 6:51 pm

Wow....so many postings....

After going through the various postings...first, I would like to ask some questions:-

- What is intelligence? If somebody knows a lots of stuff, speaks better Eng/German/Spanish..,discusses philosophical topics, understands certain things quickly..blah..blah..is that intelligence? People have different definitions of it. Does this mean one def. is superior to other one?

- Why does one need "intelligence"?

- If one is really "intelligent" then why should he/she be "intimidated" by others "inelligence"?

- Does the woman who is, so called, "intelligent" and who happens to be your sister/close friend, "intimidate" you? So, if you are "intimidated" by somebody's "intelligence" then whose problem is this. It's you...who has different perceptions. And different perception was built by you...because of your EGO..because you lack true knowledge/intelligence.

I wouldn't say who is right and who is wrong as everything is relative. I see just the menifestation of different levels of ego/knowledge/intelligence in these discussions. So, whatever people have said so far...is very much okay. We shall understand one thing....We always try to map everything to our "limited" knowledge because that's the only way we can try to understand something. And bigger our "limited" knowledge pool is easier it would be to understand the things in true sense. And...widening of this pool starts when you start understanding yourself rather than others. So, if somebody says...he/she gets intimidated..that's fine. If somebody says...he/she respects him/her because of "intelli.."...that's also fine with me.

If one is truly "intelligent" he/she would appreciate each and every reason put forward by others rather than...looking for somebody whose "wavelength" matches with you...getting into a discussion....the origin of this itself is your unstaisfied ego. No!!! Think about it.

by **JustaLittleUnwell** » Mon Feb 09, 2004 11:57 pm

sutra wrote:If one is truly "intelligent" he/she would appreciate each and every reason put forward by others rather than...looking for somebody whose "wavelength" matches with you...

I tend to agree with this one. The requirement for a matching wavelength only betrays a limitation or an inability to transcend boundaries and reach out to people. In a world that is increasingly getting diverse and inter-dependent, banding together of the 'like-minded' may not be the best way forward. A team of diverse constituents is more likely to succeed, as explained in detail by Steven Covey in his '7 Habits' (Habit 6: Synergize)

by **Lady with the Lamp** » Tue Feb 10, 2004 9:48 pm

sutra wrote:After going through the various postings...first, I would like to ask some questions:-

So, if you are "intimidated" by somebody's "intelligence" then whose problem is this. It's you...who has different perceptions. And different perception was built by you...because of your EGO..because you lack true knowledge/intelligence.

If one is truly "intelligent" he/she would appreciate each and every reason put forward by others rather than...looking for somebody whose "wavelength" matches with you...getting into a discussion....the origin of this itself is your unstaisfied ego. No!!! Think about it.

Sutra, first of all I'm not "truly intelligent". Coming to think of it I'm just your a lil above avg person who "appreciates each and every reason put forward by others." When I say I would like to be with people who are on my mental wave-length, it only means that I would like to interact with people with whom I can gel with because of a similarity in our thought-process, values, sense of humour etc. Ask yourself, u have a set of friends don't you? Why do you click with them ? Isn't it because your'll having something in common ?

And whats that thing about "the origin of this discussion itself, is because of an unsatisfied ego". For Heaven's sake, starting an innocuous thread that happens to have "intelligence" as its theme doesn't make me someone with an unsatisfied ego. (Hey wait a sec, did u take my previous post on my "ego-boost" seriously? That was said tongue-firmly-in-cheek).

I totally endorse your statement on "we try and look at things with our limited knowledge". We all have to try and look beyond. What is important is to be open to absorbing anything new, anything that gives us a new dimension of thinking. I swear by the line that there is something we can learn from everyone. I wonder whether I've mentioned this but I've learnt something from the sweeper at my workplace. To use a cliche learning never stops and I'm very aware of that.

And JLU,

The requirement for a matching wavelength DOES NOT betray a limitation or an inability to transcend boundaries and reach out to people.

Why are u making it out to be such a big deal ? Why does it sound sacrilegeous to u when I say that "like-minded" ppl will gel well. ?

And come again about that bit on "banding together of the 'like-minded' may not be the best way forward." We are just talking about an interaction of ppl in a purely social sense, here. I think you are confusing a social need here with an issue(A team of diverse constituents is more likely to succeed, as explained in detail by Steven Covey in his '7 Habits' Habit 6: Synergize) that has professional undertones to it.

And finally Mona Lisa, ur last line made me smile. The whole "intimidation" bit probably makes me sound like a female who has a history of such cases behind her!!

Far from the truth, believe me.

by **JustaLittleUnwell** » Tue Feb 10, 2004 11:21 pm

LWL,

The understanding I got reading Sutra's post was that he/she wasnt accusing 'you' the person, but was using the word 'you' in a generic sense to refer to the person/s who are intimidated by others' intelligence. I hope Sutra would clarify.

And JLU,

The requirement for a matching wavelength DOES NOT betray a limitation or an inability to transcend boundaries and reach out to people.
Why are u making it out to be such a big deal ? Why does it sound sacrilegeous to u when I say that "like-minded" ppl will gel well. ?

And come again about that bit on "banding together of the 'like-minded' may not be the best way forward." We are just talking about an interaction of ppl in a purely social sense, here. I think you are confusing a social need here with an issue that has professional undertones to it.

I stand by whatever I said. It was in response to sutra's point about appreciating another person's reasons, irrespective of the 'wavelength' that he/she comes from. I would like to appreciate the inter-dependent ways of the world, and benefit by interacting with people of different wavelengths. In that spirit, I appreciate your reasons too, for wanting to 'band together with a like minded person'.

Covey saab does not restrict himself to professional situations alone. In fact he illustrates diversity by taking the example of a family - Man and Woman - u cant find individuals who are more different (apparently, they are from different planets). And when they come together, what you have is a result which two men or two women can't produce. Not just the biological output, but even the emotional, societal, spiritual etc.

Finally, I have nothing against 'banding of the like-minded' and hence don't consider it a sacrilage (and I dont remember saying so). I just aired my humble opinion that it may not be the best way forward.

by **Mona Lisa Smiles** » Wed Feb 11, 2004 12:56 pm

Honestly I wasnt refering to you having a history (of cases) at all.

Its an observation of mine. Many ladies (who IMO are intelligent) I am acquainted with lead very independent lives, make their own decisions and live by them, stay single. By choice or circumstance?... one would never know. I dont mean to say all single ladies are intelligent or vice versa. I dont like generalisation either.

Now one cant say for certain that the case of these ladies would prove the topic being discussed .... but then it got me thinking.

by **Sri** » Fri Feb 13, 2004 3:57 pm

Jus happened to drop in by! Found a thread that huge and pretty good write ups ! Read thru some of them !!! Hey LADY WITH THE LAMP - More than a Lady with the Lamp or superior or what ever that have been mentioned.. I guess what would intimidate id a LADY LIKE A VAMP !!!!

;-)

))))))

<<< Am sorry my previous message got posted before i could complete typing >>>

Luv

Sri !!!

by **Lady with the Lamp** » Tue Feb 17, 2004 11:24 am

JLU, Its unfortunate that I haven't read '7 habits of highly effective ppl'. Else, I would have understood your previous post a little more clearly. Will try and read it if I do lay my hands on it.

Mona Lisa, I've heard of the 'single-by-choice/circumstance' lady brigade too. Though I must confess that the ppl I know are single by circumstance. Ppl who stay single-by-choice, probably do that because of a past bad experience or simply because they are too much in love with their work/profession, and they view a 'not-so-single' status as a deviation from their goal. Again, I'm just trying to think of it from their point of view.

Sri, 'Good-write-ups by ppl' ? U bet!!! Here's to the Hyderabadi spirit of 'Have-a-comp, will-type' !!

So what, if its being shoved down people's throats! :wink:

by **Sri** » Tue Feb 17, 2004 12:19 pm

I am not from Hyd... but i jus work here ! and no "have a comp - will type" business here. I dont write or do things till the time i decide to do it. Similarly... lamp or vamp .... As long as I dont let myself to get intimidated .. shoven up or down.. doesnt matter !!! :wink:

Sri stays STILL :wink:

by **Lady with the Lamp** » Tue Feb 17, 2004 10:02 pm

Omigod! I have to make yet another clarification! Sri, the last lines of my prev post, were NOT 'typed' with you in mind. I was just mentioning a general tendency (looking at a lot of other posts on other boards).

But then, its a free country so let there be free speech!

by **Sri** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 8:45 am

Lady with the Lamp wrote:Sri, 'Good-write-ups by ppl' ? U bet!!! Here's to the Hyderabadi spirit of 'Have-a-comp, will-type' !! So what, if its being shoved down people's throats!

Lolz... If you write ur post like this .... To a normal human mind, I guess it was as if you have addressed to me. Either ways thats fine !!! SO YOU DIDNT TYPE WITH ME IN MIND.. ASSUMING ME IN UR MIND .... :wink:

NOW TELL ME WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE TYPED ????? :wink:

Sri !!!

by **Zorro** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 3:38 pm

YES certainly....but there r no intelligent woman in this whole world...

So dont worry ...buddy...njoy

by **Fiddler** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 5:45 pm

Ye Gods, this is all we need! Intellectually challenged chauvinism, all set to embarass the intelligent members of man(!)kind.

Zorro, ride off into the sunset, why don't you?

by **Truth** » Tue Nov 16, 2004 10:29 pm

Helpline for Harassed Men in Bangalore!!

Since last one year, there is a Helpline (91-80-56969850) in Bangalore for distressed men and their family members. It receives about 20 calls in a week from the men who are distressed due to harassment by the wife or her parents. The callers include many techies working in reputed firms and NRIs(Nonresident Indians/Indians living outside india). As soon as someone calls the helpline, his complaint is heard and he is called for a face-to-face discussion during which a lawyer and a counsellor are present.

See more details at: http://batteredmen.blogspot.com/

by **Arti** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 11:34 am

Lady with the Lamp wrote:Hello...wiser of the two....let me reiterate for the nth time that the aim of my topic is not to make a dig at the intelligence of the male gender......I would like to believe that I am an intelligent person who would like to interact with people on the same mental wavelength...unfortunately I haven't met too many guys who match up, but I'm sure they exist......here's to my optimism....!!!

You echoed my sentiments there... I am sure they exist... I could bet my life on it. It just seems so tough to find them. In all likelihood, that;s what they're saying too :-)

by **Arti** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 11:35 am

Truth wrote:Helpline for Harassed Men in Bangalore!!
Since last one year, there is a Helpline (91-80-56969850) in Bangalore for distressed men and their family members. It receives about 20 calls in a week from the men who are distressed due to harassment by the wife or her parents. The callers include many techies working in reputed firms and NRIs(Nonresident Indians/Indians living outside india). As soon as someone calls the helpline, his complaint is heard and he is called for a face-to-face discussion during which a lawyer and a counsellor are present.

See more details at: http://batteredmen.blogspot.com/

May I ask why the same post is appearing in different threads? What is the point you are trying to make?

by **CtrlAltDel** » Sun Nov 21, 2004 12:29 pm

Arti wrote:
Truth wrote:Helpline for Harassed Men in Bangalore!!
Since last one year, there is a Helpline (91-80-56969850) in Bangalore for distressed men and their family members. It receives about 20 calls in a week from the men who are distressed due to harassment by the wife or her parents. The callers include many techies working in reputed firms and NRIs(Nonresident Indians/Indians living outside india). As soon as someone calls the helpline, his complaint is heard and he is called for a face-to-face discussion during which a lawyer and a counsellor are present.

See more details at: http://batteredmen.blogspot.com/
May I ask why the same post is appearing in different threads? What is the point you are trying to make?

i think he is a lawyer looking for clients.... :roll:

by **Arti** » Mon Nov 22, 2004 12:24 am

CtrlAltDel wrote:
Arti wrote:
Truth wrote:Helpline for Harassed Men in Bangalore!!
Since last one year, there is a Helpline (91-80-56969850) in Bangalore for distressed men and their family members. It receives about 20 calls in a week from the men who are distressed due to harassment by the wife or her parents. The callers include many techies working in reputed firms and NRIs(Nonresident Indians/Indians living outside india). As soon as someone calls the helpline, his complaint is heard and he is called for a face-to-face discussion during which a lawyer and a counsellor are present.

See more details at: http://batteredmen.blogspot.com/
May I ask why the same post is appearing in different threads? What is the point you are trying to make?
i think he is a lawyer looking for clients....

Wow! I didn't think of that

by **malakpetmasala** » Mon Nov 22, 2004 6:27 am

I dont know about intelligent women, but Arti does intimidate me.

Do intelligent women intimidate guys?