Sunday, 10 December 2023 »  Login


Friendship, love, live-in and extra-marital relationships, marriage, family - share the views of diverse people on everything that makes up life.

Moderator: The Moderator Team


by balu » Fri Aug 16, 2002 11:53 am

Todays daughter-in-laws, are tomorrow mother-in-laws. Yet why this cold war going on in between, ultimately, putting the men folk out of hormony..

Why is not able to accept by the daughet-in-laws, some tips given out of experience from the mom-in-law side??? why should there be a tug-off war all the time..

24 years average the mothers struggles to bring up the boy and gives in a girls hand, why can't the girl accept the fact the mother still have some posession about her boy(son), why is the objection if the boy talks to his mom, or takes them out etc.
.. pls lets have your opinions about it..


by Anil » Sat Aug 17, 2002 10:03 am

This is indeed a very good topic. Apparently it looks like a feud between the Mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. But, actually it’s not. As a matter of fact every part in the family is involved. To be more precise, it’s a very big social problem. We can summarize this whole problem in one word, “Social security”. People who are exposed to this term in US can take some precedence from this word, but actually, the social security in US serves more than the problem we are discussing here. The solution to this problem cannot be given in a couple of lines as this a very big problem and if anyone is talking about the solution, one has to take all the factors concerning this problem. First, instead of attacking the problem and trying to give a solution in a hurry, why don’t we ask ourselves few questions? When answering these questions in your mind, forget about your gender, age, your relations and the obligations attached to it. Just think yourself as a judge who is deliberating the purest form of judgment and not biased to any side. Why do you think the people in our society wish to have boy child? Why is there a bias in the love shown by the parents towards the male child than the female child? Why are the parents possessive towards the male child after his marriage and not so possessive towards the married female child? Why do you see the female child is less educated in spite of being brighter than her brother sometimes in education? Why do the parents compromise the welfare of the female child and just use them as a helping hand in the household work and nothing beyond that? Why is the girl child always fed with a thought that she doesn’t belong to the family and she has to leave the family, some day? And last but not the least, why is the boy child always taught that, he is supposed to take care of his parents? I’m sure, by now it may be clear about where am I going. Our social structure is built in this way. Boy child is the security of the parents. Parents bribe them, nurture them, brainwash them, force them and some times blackmail them to be their social security. Don’t you see that there is a great deal of injustice done towards the girl child? I don’t expect the Government to come for the rescue and provide a social security to everyone so that everyone will relieve their boy child and show a true love towards their children. I wish, no person must depend on their children for their livelihood in their older ages. I also urge the daughters-in-law, not to take advantage of having control of the social security of the old parents-in-law. It must be everyone’s responsibility to secure themselves from being dependant on their children. If the demand for this urge increases in the society, then we’ll see the society moving that way, may be in the form of some legislations or a regulated industry to look after the welfare of the old people. Balu, I tried my best to address your problem. Regards…..Anil.


by Guest » Sat Aug 17, 2002 11:45 am

Dear anil, thankyou for your lovely message it was very soothing!!! the reality, due to old age there can be some agony shown, it is up to the youngesters to compromise and row the boat to the shore, as today\'s youngesters are tomorrows elders,, how you are going to treat now, you would be treated by some one later,,,,, that is reality of life...

When any topic about cinema, romance are on the board there are huge rsponse... but when the reality of life is being tried to be discussed, there are hardly any soul???? why??


by vibhuti » Fri Sep 20, 2002 4:29 am

hi anil,its not at all boykid or girl kid.its all about power and domination in the family and especially over the son/husband.the girl wants to have complete control over the house and especially her husband and the (mother_in_law)MIL too wants to have the same thing , especially more on the (daughter_in_law) DIL.struggle for power.The ideal situation is where MIL shoudl sense that her time is over and now she shud make way for the DIL.MIL did have her time when she was young ,did take control over the house for many yrs , not it is the DIL. but none of the MILs will have that thought.SOme MILs cant stand if their sons listen to their wives. why? dint her husband listen to her when she was young? when u read this please dont consider me as one of those poor DILs. i have a very very good MIL.

Re: Mothers-in-law

by Mother-in-law: NEEDS YOUR INPUT » Fri May 29, 2009 10:16 am

I read the animated discussion on this website. Where is PlanteH?
I figured it is in India. Well, India or Boston, we have lots in common when it comes to mothers-in-law issues. I research the old MIL/DIL subject, and try to find something new in the old stereotypes. I look into both multi cultural and traditional families, and I do not see much difference. The war is the war is the war. Same for peace. If a man clings to his mommy, or if his mommy is not willing to let go, then we will have problems. Here is my blog I ask you to read it and challenge my point of view. Maybe family life in India is different. I would like to hear your comments. By the way, what are the names for mother-in-law in your language? If you can give me origins of these words, I will be grateful.
eva goodmil
evagoodmil at gmail dot com
Boston, Ma USA
Mother-in-law: NEEDS YOUR INPUT
Registered User
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri May 29, 2009 10:06 am

Return to Human Relationships

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

{{ todo.summary }}... expand »
{{ todo.text }} « collapse
First  |  Prev  |   1   2  3  {{current_page-1}}  {{current_page}}  {{current_page+1}}  {{last_page-2}}  {{last_page-1}}  {{last_page}}   |  Next  |  Last


This page was tagged for
mom in law issues hyderabad
Follow on
Copyright © 2023 LRR Technologies (Hyderabad) Pvt Ltd. All rights reserved. fullhyd and fullhyderabad are registered trademarks of LRR Technologies (Hyderabad) Pvt Ltd. The textual, graphic, audio and audiovisual material in this site is protected by copyright law. You may not copy, distribute or use this material except as necessary for your personal, non-commercial use. Any trademarks are the properties of their respective owners.