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Wife problems - Please advise

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Wife problems - Please advise

by Tiger » Tue Jul 06, 2004 11:46 am

Hi guys and gals,



I have been married for two years now and have a very frustrating problem for which I need advice. Hence this posting.



My wife and I had actually met on the internet. She is also Indian alright. The problem is that she is suffering from vaginismus and is not able to have sex at all. We have tried everything possible - creams, jellies, took her to the gynaecologist, and also to a sexologist but to no avail. For these two years, I have been extremely faithful to her but now I am beginning to lose control. The worst thing is that she refuses to tell anyone (me nor anyone else inculding the female doctor) as to what is causing her worry.

Worse, she does not want to be romantic at all. It seems to me that for her marriage is just committment but without romance or sex. The other thing I have noticed is that she is hell bent on money. For her, money is everything in life. I have talked to her patiently a lot many times on these issues but to no avail. Strange thing is that her family is very nice and I like all of them a lot. She is the only exception.



I have been faithful to her and been very patient with her but now I am losing control. I am a Technical Writer by profession and do earn quite well and we do live comfortably. Guys and gals what should I do and how do I solve these problems? I am finding it very difficult now to control the urge for sex and romance. Do give me some advice.
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by Mayavi Morpheus » Tue Jul 06, 2004 11:59 am

0th order solution: Divorce her. A marriage without romance can never be a happy marriage.



marriage is just committment but without romance or sex


You didnt know this before marriage? You said you met over interne, so it aint arranged marriage. What did you guys talk about before marriage? share markets?
May the Fries be with you!
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by ZC » Tue Jul 06, 2004 12:00 pm

Zandu balm, Zandu balm noppi harin-che balm...Zandu balm, Zandu balm.....
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Re: Wife problems

by Tiger » Tue Jul 06, 2004 12:06 pm

Hi Morpheus,



True we did write to each other. But it was just the friendly stuff. Never anything else cause she really did not want to write abuot sex or anything else.
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by The Rainmaker » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:22 pm

Tiger.. if you're not going to be faithful i.e. if you're planning to cheat on her, its best that you seek a Divorce. It would be wrong to stay in the marriage and at the same time have extra-marital affairs.
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by ZC » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:32 pm

try swapping :roll:
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by Lucifer » Tue Jul 06, 2004 1:56 pm

You know what I think? I think this account of Tiger is a fabricated one like those umpteen letter to Penthouse are. Tiger, I suggest you use other forums for these kind of posts and respect the dignity and sanctity of fullhyd.com. :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
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by rock_26iin » Tue Jul 06, 2004 2:00 pm

Lucifer wrote:You know what I think? I think this account of Tiger is a fabricated one like those umpteen letter to Penthouse are. Tiger, I suggest you use other forums for these kind of posts and respect the dignity and sanctity of fullhyd.com. :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:




and dont forget to repect the devil himself too, Tiger. :D
Things are supposed to happen the way they happen. And the reason they happen the way the happen is because you try to make them happen in a certain way and may or may not be succesful.
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by ZC » Tue Jul 06, 2004 2:26 pm

Lucifer wrote:You know what I think? I think this account of Tiger is a fabricated one like those umpteen letter to Penthouse are. Tiger, I suggest you use other forums for these kind of posts and respect the dignity and sanctity of fullhyd.com. :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:




u caught my POINT ...... POINT as in: i leave it for ur imagination.
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To hell with these discussion boards

by TIGER » Tue Jul 06, 2004 2:41 pm

Hi,



I posted my problem here, thinking I will get some sensible advice. However, since you'll say that I am fabricating the problem, to hell with these discussion boards. TO HELL!!!



I don't have the time nor the inclination to play games with my life and my wife's.
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by black wizard » Tue Jul 06, 2004 3:09 pm

ZC wrote:Zandu balm, Zandu balm noppi harin-che balm...Zandu balm, Zandu balm.....




bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahhahahahahaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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by CtrlAltDel » Tue Jul 06, 2004 3:16 pm

Tiger....vaginismus is generally a psychosomatic disorder...ie mentally induced maybe by a bad experience in childhood or an accident....so i think some therapy sessions can help her. divorce is not right unless all avenues are exhausted.

let divorce be the last straw. if u r compelled not to divorce her under any pressure and this continues, u'll crack up inthe long run....in that case its ok to have sex outside...its not moralistic yes, but if u have no alternative u r no saint to suppress yrslf and drive yrself crazy....



think before taking any decision.



PS: for those who dont know Vaginismus is a disorder where vagial muscles invouluntarily tighten and makes penetration difficult or impossible. creams etc wont help in anyway. but ladies with vaginimus need not be frigid. they are very much capable of being aroused and can reach the Big O by other means...
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings :roll:
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me :D
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unhappy life

by advisor » Tue Jul 06, 2004 3:19 pm

instead of leading unhappy life, pls quit, get divorced and marry another lady, so that you can enjoy! either forget about the love and affection you have towards her and her family and go for second marriage else forget about the desires you have and stay as u r, choice is urs, take it as soon as u can to have a happy life
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by ZC » Tue Jul 06, 2004 3:44 pm

i dont remember the name but a famous man......said...



"I love my wife very much, and i go to a prostitute for sex. coz my wife is not interesed in sex.........i dont make extra-arital affairs and my wife knows that i visit prostitutes !! "
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by azazel » Tue Jul 06, 2004 4:16 pm

i came, i saw, i ...spammed ?
nolite arbitrari quia venerim mittere pacem in terram non veni pacem
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by cooljack » Tue Jul 06, 2004 4:19 pm

ZC wrote:Zandu balm, Zandu balm noppi harin-che balm...Zandu balm, Zandu balm.....




y zandu balm, if theres tiger balm for "tiger" saab :lol:
whether its ur ass r mirror......a blind man see the same
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by cooljack » Tue Jul 06, 2004 4:22 pm

azazel wrote:i came, i saw, i ...spammed ?




me the same, check d above post (spam that doesnt luk like a spam) 8)
whether its ur ass r mirror......a blind man see the same
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by Bimbette » Tue Jul 06, 2004 10:43 pm

Its insensitive how some people are. If someone has a problem and u think u can give a solution please do. If u don't, stop trying to play smart. We visit the Boards so that we may see things from another person's perspective. Callous comments should be avoided because many of us post real life issues on these Boards.



Tiger, have an honest talk with you wife. Like CAD said a divorce should be the last option. An extra marital affair will worsen things. Will bringing her mom or an older person into the picture, help? Good luck.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right.
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Thanks everyone

by Tiger » Wed Jul 07, 2004 7:05 am

Hi everyone,



Thanks for all the advice esp CAD and Bimbette.



I agree Divorce is not an option right now. I have decided to talk to one of her family members - may be her mum or her aunty and then probably they can convince her to go to a therapist as CAD suggested.



Will keep you'll posted. If there is any more valuable advice, please give me.
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Re: Thanks everyone

by ZC » Wed Jul 07, 2004 9:39 am

Tiger wrote:Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the advice esp CAD and Bimbette.

I agree Divorce is not an option right now. I have decided to talk to one of her family members - may be her mum or her aunty and then probably they can convince her to go to a therapist as CAD suggested.

Will keep you'll posted. If there is any more valuable advice, please give me.




try anal sex !!
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Re: Thanks everyone

by CtrlAltDel » Wed Jul 07, 2004 10:33 am

ZC wrote:try anal sex !!
:lol: :lol: :lol:



damn...why no one thot of it before.....???



ZC...tussi great ho...:lol: :lol:
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings :roll:
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me :D
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Re: Thanks everyone

by ZC » Wed Jul 07, 2004 12:05 pm

CtrlAltDel wrote:
ZC wrote:try anal sex !!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

damn...why no one thot of it before.....???

ZC...tussi great ho...:lol: :lol:




aaj, mera engine oil change kiya.......the rusted brian started working a bit :D
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Re.Anal Sex

by Tiger » Wed Jul 07, 2004 12:40 pm

Well I did try that - but no use. She doesn't like insertion anywhere - not even French kissing.
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Re: Re.Anal Sex

by CtrlAltDel » Wed Jul 07, 2004 12:54 pm

Tiger wrote:Well I did try that - but no use. She doesn't like insertion anywhere - not even French kissing.
:roll:

hmmmmm....she has barricaded all entry points....i wud hate to be in your place mate...:lol:
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings :roll:
Love me or hate me, u cant ignore me :D
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by cooljack » Wed Jul 07, 2004 12:56 pm

Bimbette wrote:Its insensitive how some people are.




Its sensitive how some people are 8)
whether its ur ass r mirror......a blind man see the same
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