Legal procedures for Kids religion _ Interreligion Parents

[hindmuslim couple]

Dear all,



I am a hindu (very orthodex) giry, married a muslim boy 2 years back and leading a very successful marriage life. (Financially, Mentally and physically)



We are planning for a Kid now.



Both of our parents are more supportive and understood our feelings and try their level best to convience themselves. We had Register marriage and only Reception as we do not want to hurt any one of our parents by doing traditional marriage in one way.



It is all going very well now.



Ours is a 3 yrs friendship, 4 and half years love and 2 years successful couple (Husband wife)

Actually before marriage we both discussed and decided (mutally accepted ) that we wont change / convert to other's religion and should give respects to each other's belief. (I am very traditional and still very particular about all poojas, festivals customs and everything. and he will do regular fasting for Ramzan also)



Incase of a Kid, (planning for only one) we should put NIL / Not applicable to Religious and Caste coloumn in the Birth Certificate



Planning to give a name of river or mountain or pure literature name of our Mother Tongue which should not show the religion and even told both of our parents and should put both of our initials.



Actually my parents accepted this and there is no such problem from them. However my inlaws have been confused by their close relatives and I expect anytime they may start raise this issue.



Luckily, my husband is a own decision maker, he wont hear other's words.



(Since I am from a pure Vegetarian family, he did not force me to eat nonveg .However myself I tried to practice and I could not as I felt vomitting while touching the non veg food on my hand)



We both are very clear in our views and my loved one will not force me for anything. I could even demand for my religion for our kid, however, myself or my parents did not want as that may hurt my inlaws and increase the distance between us.



Now I need a clarification for the below:



1. Is it necessary that we have to fill the Religion and Caste in the Birth Certificate?

2. If we do not fill, what will happen and how this will affect our kid's future?

3. If it really affects our kid's life legally in future (School TC, Voter ID, Passport, Ration Card etc) we have to fill that coloumns. In that case, I prefer to put Hindu than Muslim the only reason is Kid can not decide its religion (It may love either Hinduism or Islamic in future) now and after 15 years only it can think of it.



If it really loves or wants to be a Muslim, I will not object it as its own rights and myself or my husband do not have that mentality as we want to give respect to other's feelings always.



If suppose, I put Muslim, in future the Kid could not be a perfect Hindu (if it likes Hinduism more and wanted to be a Hindu) , because I feel there is no proper procedure for Hindu Conversion.



So, please clarify my doubts and suggest some thing to me.



As of now, we did not face any problems related to religion and we both used to go to Temples (he will also join) and Mosque (I have also joined ) and think of our own gods in mind and pray.



Frankly speaking, we did not face problems in our career also (working in MNC , and no body has bothered about it, if someone tried to moke into our personal life, we know how to handle that situation cooly)



As usual married couple, we had ego clashes /arguments and others are in minor level and will be sorted with in a hour or 30 mins and not more than that as we could not fight and avoid each other more than 30 mins



Friends, I need a clear view about it. anybody can help me please (can consult with a legal person and could suggest me. Personally we can manager, but I want to be legally accepted as in this competition world, our kid should not suffer or feel that it is facing problem, because its parents are interreligion married couple in future)



thanks

hindumuslim

[CtrlAltDel]

...I need a clarification for the below:

1. Is it necessary that we have to fill the Religion and Caste in the Birth Certificate?
2. If we do not fill, what will happen and how this will affect our kid's future?
3. If it really affects our kid's life legally in future (School TC, Voter ID, Passport, Ration Card etc) we have to fill that coloumns. In that case, I prefer to put Hindu than Muslim the only reason is Kid can not decide its religion (It may love either Hinduism or Islamic in future) now and after 15 years only it can think of it.

i think its better to consult a lawyer to clear these doubts...

...I feel there is no proper procedure for Hindu Conversion.

traditionally speaking, u are right...there is no such thing as 'converting to a hindu' in our scriptures. but now there are organizations that do convert interested people to hinduism, like the Arya Samaj. AFAIK, only Arya Samaj's conversion certificate is legally recognized.

[bharatiyudu]

Religion/Casteism Bitter enemy of india even bitter,dangerous and frightening than the terrorist groups. Its written in our fate that these have to be filled in all the application forms. Any you are the adarsha couple as we call it in Telugu.



So be Happy and better consult a Lawyer in these matters. He could be a help to you

[Clueless HP]

I was the first one to reply to this but the topic happened to be a dupe and was deleted by the mods. Anyways, here's what I said on saturday.



Ideally, I don't think there should be any compulsion for anyone to disclose their religion/caste unless there is a specific reason behind it; for example, availing of reservations etc. However, I don't know the legal aspects of your situation. My advice would be to talk to a lawyer specialising in constitutional law. He should be in a better position to help you out with this issue and clarify any concerns that you may have regarding it.

[Whiz]

Nice to know that there are similar couples around.



My fiancee and I, we are across different religions. She is a Muslim, while I am a Hindu. And to make things complicated, we come from different countries. I am from India while she is from Afghanistan. We tend to agree on a lot of aspects. When it comes to children, things get a little rough. But manageable.



We talk about quite a few topics, some are easy to resolve. Like last name. My fiancee, after we get married, will take my name and so will any of our children. The reason being that it is a patriarchical society and we can't have both (May be have both). And perhaps a little bit of prejudice as I will be the father.



I can say that the same goes to religion, where the child will have the religion of the father. But again, it depends on how much the other person will feel involved during or after the decision is made. The religion will be mostly for official purposes, as the children will enjoy the best of what the two religions have to offer. Including firecrackers for Diwali and sweets for Eid.



Or you can select one randomly by asking the kid to pick from two pieces of paper. That way, it is the child who decides it. And you can be free of guilt or deception for a long time. Of course, after growing up, if the child wants to change it, that is for the kid to decide.



Names for the child is one of the simpler decisions. Either you can make the kid decide it. Or take the name that is neither Hindu nor Muslim. A name like Henna for a girl or Roshan for a boy are pretty easy to pick. There are a lot of websites as well that have common baby names. Or you can pick the name of a sportstar - Annika, Sania. Or give the name or some variation of the nurse of the doctor who delivered the baby, taking the decision out of your hands. Or decide beforehand, if it is a boy the mother is going to name him. And if it is a girl, the father is going to name her. And make this absolutely CLEAR to your folks well ahead in advance so that if (or when) they bring this up later, you have an ace up your sleeve to counter them.



There are more serious issues as well. I am sure you talked about it. Especially related to religion. How much of your religion will you impose on the child. Prayers, how often and to whom, Hajj or circumscision.



My suggestion is keep it simple:

- If it is something for purely official purposes and something that you have to make a decision now, let the baby decide when still young and can't be influenced by others.

- If it something that can wait, like ear piercings, let the child grow up and decide. Instead of putting the burden on you.



You both love the child, more than your parents or your relatives or your religious leaders. Do what is good for the child. If you keep everything and everyone else away and think, you are sure to make the right decision. Make it, and stick to it.



On a final note, folks on our side, though very much against our decision initally, are very supportive now. In fact my mother likes my fiancee more than me, and her mother likes me a lot.



Wishing you the very best of health, happiness and prosperity.

[Mayavi Morpheus]

lol... after I read that thread about the 'North American' hindu boy and his Hyderabadi muslim fiance, I expected to see thread like 'Hindu girl and muslim boyfriend/husband' and voila in two weeks we had not one but two such threads of hindu girls marrying muslim boys. Then I expected to see a muslim girl claiming to have a hindu boy friend, but my predictions were slightly incorrect.... we saw one more from a guy its like they've all been waiting for someone to take the lead and suddenly everyone is out with their stories.

No offence to anyone. I am not doubting any stories... I personally know couple of muslim guys with hindu girl friends and the vice versa. So it is not uncommon



Anyway, whiz bhai, can you share more about your experiences with this afghan girls family... like where they live, how they reacted, the problems u faced yada yada. I dont know much about afghans except that the wimmen are hawt

[intereligion]

Hi

I hope u have sorted out the problem of caste which should be given to child. I am also in the same situation. Your guidance will be helpful to me.

Thanks

[Lola]

Children are smart and not as helpless and confused as we think...they will learn in time that there are many religions in this world...and at times people do marry successfully. ..People of other religions... and therefore... their children cannot have just one religious identity...