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am i wrong?

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am i wrong?

by who's fault? » Mon Mar 06, 2006 4:06 am

My friend is going to get engaged to her cousin in Hyd. Parents hooked them up and they both said yes on the basis that they know each other all their lives :?



I keep telling her not to go ahead cuz I fear that just cuz he is family, does not mean he is the one for you

I mean she is in states [never lived in india..grew up in an arab country] and he has always lived in India. I also told her that perhaps he said yes to you cuz he would get a chance to come to states.



Ofcourse she refuted and got upset with me…don’t get me wrong I am happy for her to be getting engaged but I feel that perhaps she shouldn’t just say yes just cuz he’s family and she trusts him.



Am I right or wrong? Will most guys say yes to a “nri” girl compared to a girl from india? :?:
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by KK » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:48 am

I agree that couple should know each other before they get married. Other than that what makes you feel that ur frnd's cousin is not the one for her? why regional difference should matter here? You should have simply adviced her that she should marry someone whom she knew well.

Everyone would prefer a life partner who would complete him/her. Preferences include being beautiful, smarter, secured, etc. Perhaps in the guys case its an NRI. So to answer your question 'would most indian guys prefer NRIs?' is not necessarily yes.
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by Mayavi Morpheus » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:50 am

well, cousins doesn't necessarily have to be bad...
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by mango » Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:02 am

her cousin?

as in related by blood? isnt that incest?

and if it is, isnt incest illegal?
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by CtrlAltDel » Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:31 am

mango wrote:her cousin?
as in related by blood? isnt that incest?
and if it is, isnt incest illegal?
for muslims and many south indian hindus, it isnt always incest - it depends on whether they are maternal or paternal cousins. for south indian hindus, maternal cousins can wed and for muslims its paternal.
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Re: am i wrong?

by CtrlAltDel » Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:32 am

who's fault? wrote:...Will most guys say yes to a “nri” girl compared to a girl from india? :?:
thats a possiblity tho u cannot assume it in this case without proof.
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings :roll:
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by what's wrong » Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:45 am

firstly to answer your question, she is not related by blood. It's her second cousin (whatever that means)



kk - so what you are saying is marrying someone cuz he/she is a nri is okay? and plus, how can they both know each other well when they have seen each other like durin vacations. I told her to not say yes, until she actually meets him in Hyd, but she says there is no need, cuz she is going to trust him and her family's decision and say yes. Guess my say is really not going to matter :roll:
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by taBeer. » Fri May 19, 2006 11:09 am

dude,that is a very good friend in you who does'nt want ur friend to rush into things without acessing the situation...

But since ur friend has made up her mind,its best to leave it her and all u can do is wish for her good life.

I would always advocate a love marriage than an arranged marriage,especially those happning in hyderabadi families,but then dont you think both the families would have acessed the situation themselves bfore taking the first step...of course it is breach of freedom whn families intervene and arrange a marriage,but in the long term level,i feel thats the best thing,because when u marry,its not just u n ur partner but both the families that start a new relationship alltogether...apart from that the parents aint our enemies to get us married to someone not right for us...

thats jst my opinion.
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by Simply HP » Fri May 19, 2006 6:36 pm

My views on the subject....



Legal or illegal, socially acceptable or not, this custom does nothing more than corrupt the gene pool.
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by gyanster » Fri May 19, 2006 8:53 pm

Yeah, medically their kids or their kids' kids will have problems.
Kuch to bhi kare tho, Kya to bhi hota.
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by mango » Sat May 20, 2006 9:27 am

gyanster wrote:Yeah, medically their kids or their kids' kids will have problems.




werrd.. plus its freakishly repulsive

come on now, theres a lot of people in the world who arent in your family -_-
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by who's fault » Sun May 21, 2006 3:45 am

it's weird eh...out of all the ppl..it has to be family...its like families look first in their families, then outside!
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by parrot » Sun May 21, 2006 8:39 am

whatever the gal has done is right.. i think more than love or anything.. family is important ..... parents choice is best as far i am concerned... getting married in relatives is good as we dont have to please anybody... gal will have an idea about inlaws in advance ;)
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by parrot » Sun May 21, 2006 8:44 am

if the gals is beautiful, relatives will block her, if the gal is not good looking then her picture will end up in the Marriage.com sites... disgraceful.. nobody is bothered about inner beauty...
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by CtrlAltDel » Mon May 22, 2006 11:26 am

as per what u said, there are always marriage.com sites for ppl with tons of inner beauty :)
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings :roll:
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by gyanster » Mon May 22, 2006 3:01 pm

And how to take pictures of inner beauty?
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by CtrlAltDel » Mon May 22, 2006 3:14 pm

Laparoscopy?
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings :roll:
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by Fun Kay » Tue May 23, 2006 3:10 pm

OMG!! CtrlAltDel...u crack me up! that was a damn gud one.... :lol:

sorry...off-topic...but had to commend him! :)
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by Reality » Tue May 23, 2006 3:19 pm

Simply HP wrote:My views on the subject....

Legal or illegal, socially acceptable or not, this custom does nothing more than corrupt the gene pool.




It does not "corrupt the gene pool" infact it concentrates it. So to speak purifies it.:). Ironic !!!!!
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by CtrlAltDel » Tue May 23, 2006 4:12 pm

Reality wrote:
Simply HP wrote:My views on the subject....

Legal or illegal, socially acceptable or not, this custom does nothing more than corrupt the gene pool.


It does not "corrupt the gene pool" infact it concentrates it. So to speak purifies it.:). Ironic !!!!!
that "purification" infact corrupts and weakens the gene pool - all the defective genes remain in the clan and get propogated.
wtf? i no longer care if my posts hurt yr feelings :roll:
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by Fun Kay » Tue May 23, 2006 5:38 pm

great...now we end up with a cesspool of defective genes!



i can understand y this is disgusting....



but considering she's in the states, i'm surprised she's agreed to this match...

i mean if the girl has had a narrow-minded upbringing, then i guess marrying her cuz wouldn't seem that wrong to her....

but there again, wats there to say that the same can't happen even if you're abroad...right?
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M I WRONG

by R.U Smart » Tue May 23, 2006 11:14 pm

Yes. Let things take their course. When U advice any person for such an important occasion, U become the wrong person.



If after a couple of years they realize their mistake-they can part, but U will continue to be a friend even then. But if u advise something unpleasant now U loose ur friend forever.



In this modern society people know how to decide for themselves. So dont put urself in a delicate position.



Cheer Up.
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by blackcobra » Thu May 25, 2006 10:59 pm

Just one statement i'd like to say





Advice is a bad voice .





Self Experience is the only place where fools can learn.



so let him experience.
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