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Wife problems - Please advise

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Re: Re.ZC

by akhilis2cool » Fri Jul 09, 2004 5:14 pm

ZC wrote:
Tiger wrote:Hey ZC,

Sure I heard about Goenkas and watched the brothers fight also. It was a pathetic scene. One of them started his own paper (Digital Age) I think it is called and lured many people from Indian Express to his publication.


Gurumurthy is the whistle-blower on Reliance in early 90s.......i think hes in politics now !!

i think he is still into journalism...he writes for New Indian Express and also has his own website....www.gurumurthy.net
People are crazy, at times are strange. I am locked-in tight, I am out of range.
I used to care, but things have changed.
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2 years...

by Aloeswood » Fri Nov 26, 2004 2:13 am

Well, how much does your wife trust you as a confident. If she abstaining from sex because of childhood sexual abuse or rape, then you should be a very good listener and keep all of her secrets to yourself without any pressure. If she married you for money or because it was her parent's decision and she really does not like you, then she should tell you this. You should tell her exactly what you feel and let her know that whatever is stopping her from having sex with you, she must let you know. Tell her it is not about the sex, but the fact that you are a married couple and you want to know her in an intimate way because you love her. Let her know she will not be judged ot yelled at and you will not tell anyone if she tells you why she does not want to have sex with you. Tell her you must know because it is beginning to have an affect on your relationship. Ask her openly about any past abuse. And ask her openly if she really loves you. Say it from a nonjudgement, compassionate point of view. Drive her to a park or some place special to talk where you can just hang out and talk like friends would. Tell her there is no shame in telling the truth and it is the best thing to do because it hurts you not to have an intimate relationship. If she wants to seek professional help, then agree to keep it private and support her in all her efforts. See what happens, and good luck!
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Re: 2 years...

by Sharjeel » Fri Nov 26, 2004 10:04 am

Aloeswood wrote:Tell her it is not about the sex, but the fact that you are a married couple and you want to know her in an intimate way because you love her. Let her know she will not be judged ot yelled at and you will not tell anyone if she tells you why she does not want to have sex with you. Tell her you must know because it is beginning to have an affect on your relationship. Ask her openly about any past abuse. And ask her openly if she really loves you. Say it from a nonjudgement, compassionate point of view. Drive her to a park or some place special to talk where you can just hang out and talk like friends would. Tell her there is no shame in telling the truth and it is the best thing to do because it hurts you not to have an intimate relationship. If she wants to seek professional help, then agree to keep it private and support her in all her efforts. See what happens, and good luck!
Wow!!! Was that some piece of Advice or what! 5 Stars for your effort!

You a psychatrist or something?
"Consequences, shmonsequences! So long as I'm rich!" - Daffy Duck.
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by lonewolf » Fri Nov 26, 2004 10:29 am

Offtopic: You have a good career record.
#$#$#u r acct #$@##@!@#
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Try to understand the prob & speak your heart out...!!

by skm » Sun Mar 20, 2005 7:26 pm

Hey Tiger... u should be open to her and give her a chance... try to spend more time with her and understand what the problem is... take her out for a holiday to a hillstation or the sea (Goa) .. show her how much u care for her... Try to understand the problem and help and support her... it could either be a mind block or bad experience....

cheers..
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Lesbianism?

by Insane Devil » Mon Mar 21, 2005 12:39 am

Tiger wrote:Well I did try that - but no use. She doesn't like insertion anywhere - not even French kissing.


MAYBE....i mean JUST MAYBE..shez a lezbian?
ever given that a thought?

:twisted:
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more to it...

by Insane Devil » Mon Mar 21, 2005 12:42 am

Aloeswood wrote:Well, how much does your wife trust you as a confident. If she abstaining from sex because of childhood sexual abuse or rape, then you should be a very good listener and keep all of her secrets to yourself without any pressure. If she married you for money or because it was her parent's decision and she really does not like you, then she should tell you this. You should tell her exactly what you feel and let her know that whatever is stopping her from having sex with you, she must let you know. Tell her it is not about the sex, but the fact that you are a married couple and you want to know her in an intimate way because you love her. Let her know she will not be judged ot yelled at and you will not tell anyone if she tells you why she does not want to have sex with you. Tell her you must know because it is beginning to have an affect on your relationship. Ask her openly about any past abuse. And ask her openly if she really loves you. Say it from a nonjudgement, compassionate point of view. Drive her to a park or some place special to talk where you can just hang out and talk like friends would. Tell her there is no shame in telling the truth and it is the best thing to do because it hurts you not to have an intimate relationship. If she wants to seek professional help, then agree to keep it private and support her in all her efforts. See what happens, and good luck!


adding a lil bit to this..

if she aint into talking in parks....as u ppl have met online...u cud try to talk to her from ur office computer, asking her to logon from ur home computer.... maybe she feels more relaxed, and comfortable talking on the net abt somethings taht she doesnt think she cud ever say it out to u , u being in front of her physically...? tink abt it..

jus my 2 cents.
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Re: Wife problems - Please advise

by ssssssssssssssssss » Mon Mar 02, 2020 8:11 pm

you can read similar situations on the internet, if you believe to save the relationships. I beleive, couples where the absence of sex is perceived calmly are extremely rare: after all, marital relations imply intimacy. As for men, prolonged abstinence leads to psychological problems, when he becomes scared to take the initiative because of the fear of failure.
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